The Simpsons

Now, let's just sort this out if we can... Jessica Simpson's headline-cluttering relationship with John Mayer (the American James Blunt) seems to have lasted only as long the press release took to read, presumably to allow Jessica to adopt her lucrative new character as "unlucky in love":

"I think I'm too hard to be in love with. It ends up on the cover of every magazine. I scare people away. I'm a lot to take on."

"I wish I was in love, I need to be in love."

"I regret nothing and it made me who I am right now. And right now who I am, I am so in love with. I am so happy with who I am. It's all about the journey."

We know, we know: if she's "happy with who she is", why does she wish she was in love? And if she thinks she scares people away, is that a character trait she's "so in love with"?

Meanwhile, Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz had been dating the wonderful Michelle Trachtenberg, out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. But - and we're guessing here - his band's profile could do with a bit of a boost amongst the Entertainment Weekly reading masses, so he's dumped her for Ashlee Simpson.

Are we the only ones who assume ole' Joe Simpson hands his daughters envelopes every morning, with the names of who they'll be dating in them?

music jessica simpson michelle trachtenberg pete wentz fall out boy john mayer ashlee simpson