Saturday, July 28, 2007

Akon: sorry not the hardest word, just confusing

Akon, the man who dry humps underage girls, has got a bit of a problem understanding the concept of "I'm sorry." He's written a song to "apologise to Gwen Stefani" for costing her thousands of dollars in tour sponsorship. He's called it 'Sorry, Blame It One Me'.

Only, in the lyrics, rather than accepting the blame, Akon doesn't:

"I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
And for the embarrassment that she felt
She's just a little young girl trying to have fun
But daddy should of never let her out that young"

So, in the song "blame it on me" he blames fate and her dad. Rather than himself. And seems to think the problem is that the underage girl he simulated sex with was "embarrassed" rather than the whole him looking a little bit Gary Glitter.

The worst aspect of this affair is that by turning it into a song, we're all now going to have to suffer. And Akon is no Union Gap.


Anonymous said...

The rest of the lyrics are just as heartfelt and humble. Choice lines include:

"Why doesn't anybody want to take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name"

(nice plug - Think it'll win them back? Possibly not if the previous line is implying that it was their fault he dry-humped a child. Say what you like about Orange, I've been using their broadband for 2 years and they've never once forced me to molest a minor)

"I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame"

(We know he loves his fans, we saw the grainy cameraphone footage to prove it)

"I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani"

(Yes, it's a sod trying to make contact with anyone back home when you're on a world tour, sponsored by a major telecommunications company)

"Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you
And you can put that blame on me"

(I do this sometimes, it never works. "Look, I'm sorry I forgot your birthday, burnt the dinner and booked Akon as our babysitter, I SAID I'M SORRY. Look, it's raining and the garden's flooded, just blame that on me too, OK? North Korea's testing nuclear weapons, that was all my idea etc")

"I want to take this time out to apologize for things that I've done
things that haven't occurred yet"

(Apologising for things which haven't happened yet? Does he know something we don't? Has he just signed off the final draft of the Akon Christmas Annual, with its fun spread on 'How to Turn Your Bedroom Into a Brothel'?)

Moving stuff.

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