Thursday, February 28, 2008

Gordon in the morning: Amy "back in drugs hell"

As is the usual form for the big entertainment stories these days, Pete Samson (working again with Virginia Wheeler) has filed the Amy Winehouse back in drugs hell story, leaving Gordon to supply a - well, let's be generous and call it a think piece, shall we?

She must get out of London
By GORDON SMART
Bizarre Editor

Seasoned Gordon watchers will note that he's even being inconsistent with his own byline these days - Bizarre editor? Showbiz editor? What's it to be? But the inconsistency doesn't stop there:
MY heart sank on Brits night when I realised Amy Winehouse was back on the gear.

On Brits night? It's funny, we don't remember your page mentioning it at the time. Or, indeed, at any point during the last week.
I got a call during rehearsals to say she was all over the place, struggling to keep it together and clearly back on it.

Ah yes... this would be at the time you were reporting she missed the rehearsal not because she was addled by drugs, but because she was distraught at the thought of Blake swapping her pictures for heroin, wasn't it? When you said
I hope Amy does pay him off and get rid of him once and for all. It sounds like she’s starting to realise she’d be far better sticking with clean-living photographer BLAKE WOOD, aka Blake II.

... and quoted a friend:
“Amy has opened her eyes recently.

“She’s grown close to this other Blake, Blake Wood, and is trying to live a better life."

Strange way of reporting the life of a woman "clearly back on it", don't you think?

Gordon, surprisingly, has suddenly decided that Amy's rheab was little more than a bid to try and keep her career on track:
Amy’s short time in rehab was nothing more than a token effort to clear the path for the Grammys.

She was in and out so quickly she didn’t even manage to kick her addiction to sweets, never mind the Class As.

Ah yes. That's exactly what you said at the time, wasn't it, when you reported her visit to get her visa:
IT’S chest what we all wanted to see – AMY WINEHOUSE looking almost back to her best.

And, indeed, when she went in to rehab, clearly with a management eye on the Grammys - despite there not being enough time to actually come off drugs, Gordon was excited:
Winehouse has cracked it

IT’S not often I have good news about AMY WINEHOUSE – but the troubled singer is slowly starting to win her battle against drug addiction.

The Back To Black star spent her fourth day in rehab yesterday, where she is delighting doctors with her progress.

Gordon blames the label for not doing anything:
Her hotel in London has seen even more illegal antics — without any action from her record label, yet again.

But wasn't it the label and their big book of cuttings which even Gordon admitted persuaded her into rehab in the first place?

It's a good job nobody takes Gordon seriously. You'd be very confused if you relied on him to cover a story.

At least he's on safer ground with breasts. Nobody could accuse Gordon of not knowing what he thinks about breasts:
OK Boobs star shows them off

It's probably best if you stick to that sort of thing, Gordo.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's probably best if you stick to that sort of thing, Gordo.

That's looking like a better and better option. He could just rename the column "Tit Talk".

Simon Hayes Budgen said...

But that would be ridiculous, Rachel - how could you have Gordon's photo next to the splashy headline reading Tit Talk...

...oh, hang on...

Anonymous said...

Hrm...oh dear, good point. That would be defamatory toward breasts.

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