Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Gordon in the morning: Blow up

Jaw-dropping excitement from the Kasabian camp via Gordon this morning:

Serge: "Grenade could have blown us to pieces"

Bloody hell - did somebody toss a hand grenade at Kasabian, then?

Erm... not quite:
KASABIAN guitarist SERGE PIZZORNO has had a lucky escape from the most rock’n’roll death of all time.

Oh, yes?
The Leicester rock lord had the entire street evacuated around his new West London gaff after builders uncovered an unexploded wartime grenade in his back garden.

Oh. So it's not actually the "most rock and roll death", it's rather "a recreation of one of the weaker Coronation Street plots of the last couple of years", then.
Luckily for Serge — and his neighbours — bomb-disposal experts managed to diffuse the explosive before disaster struck.

Indeed. When was the last time someone was killed in the UK by a undiscovered wartime ordinance? Not, I suspect, since closer to the Second World War.
Talking of his close call, Serge said: “All it could have taken was the vibrations from a kickabout in the garden or some loud music and we would have been blown to pieces in a pile of rubble and smoke."

Although given it had been lying in the garden for sixty odd years and was only turned up by building work, it's more than likely that the grenade was happily buried. And may well have been past the point of exploding anyway - the army treat all of these cases as if they might be dangerous, but that doesn't mean they are.

Serge hints that this is his Cobain moment:
“I’m 27 as well and there’s a tradition of musicians meeting their end at my age."

Only the good ones, Serge.

But then comes the kicker:
"It’s all sorted now and we should be moving in there in a few weeks."

Move in? So you weren't even living there when the grenade was found? This, then, would be a near-death experience in the way a Ryanair airport is near where it says its flying to.

Paul Thompson finds space in Gordon's columns to report a shock:
Madge 'Hitler' jibe at McCain

Published: Today
MADONNA sparked a political furore yesterday — by comparing US presidential candidate JOHN McCAIN to ADOLF HITLER.

She sparked this furore "yesterday", did she, then? Not on, erm, Saturday, when she first flashed the pictures up?

Ah, but, no, because a Sun reader might wonder why, if she made the comparison on Saturday night, the paper didn't notice until Tuesday morning.