Gordon in the morning: In the wreck of a marriage

Another three-headed Sunbeast leads off Bizarre this morning, as Gordon gets some help with the writing and the typing from Virginia Wheeler and Emily Smith again. The trio laugh at the very idea that the Ciccone relationship has been fought for:

THE marriage of Madonna and Guy Ritchie has been dogged by bitterness and recrimination for YEARS — and any notion that they have battled to save it is a myth.

Oddly, the paper doesn't find room within its acres of coverage to explain the articles from the previous years where it's insisted the marriage is back on track, or being rebuilt - but perhaps that's just because most of today's piece is made from unsourced rumour and unnamed friends and, you know, when you're treating a story that is little more than 'mismatched couple end unfortunate realtionship' as if it requires acres of coverage, you don't want to start by admitting the people writing it have no real idea what's going on.

Gordon's fingerprints on the story result in the a skew in Guy's favour:

She's got £300m, he's got £30m, but...the Guy doesn't want a penny

'but'? Surely that should be 'so'? The idea that a multimillionaire not seeking more multimillions is somehow a noble act is ridiculous.

Mind you, Madonna might consider that not having to go to any more premieres of b-movie gangster flicks could be worth paying a few million quid for.

Life goes on:

The singer hid in a blacked-out SUV as she left her New York apartment for Boston for the first leg of her Sticky and Sweet tour.

Yes, she was hiding in a blacked-out car, rather than merely traveling in it. Normally, she'd hop on the Metro and get the Greyhound to Boston.