Guy Ritchie gets his Dad to go down the school

We took our kitten for his orchidectomy today. It looks like Sumesh wasn't the only one to have his manhood permanently rmeoved, as Guy Ritchie's Dad has decided he needs to protect his son from that beastly Madonna:

In his first comments about the marriage split, Ritchie's father, John, said of the reports: "She is being beastly. She is saying, 'Did you ever love me?' It goes back to a time when she fell off her horse and she's blaming him for that. She's calling him an emotional retard. When he's being bashed by her it's horrid."

Oddly, John Ritchie appears to be responding not to actual horridness, but horridness reported in The Sun. And even if you do have a famous son and still believe every word you read in the papers, wouldn't he have noticed that the quote wasn't actually fresh but supposedly from ages ago? And that he wasn't being blamed for her falling off the horse, but for apparently not giving a shake of the mane about it?

Guy likes to rub shoulder with geezer types; it's going to be quite hard for him to hold his head up when his Dad feels he needs help to ward off three year-old misquotes from his own wife. I'm picturing Guy turning up at his Dad's house, looking desperately through the window, crying "Dad! Leave the reviews for Revolver alone... please don't ring Philip French at home... Dad... Dad..."

Still, we should all laugh while we can - each one of us will be the loser in this:

His father said from the doorstep of his Chelsea home: "I haven't spoken to Guy for a few days. He's very busy. He is really into his new film. He's up to here with work."

Nothing, surely, is more chilling than the thought that Guy Ritchie is throwing himself into his work.