Tuesday, November 04, 2008

NME are still doing their cool list

For reasons that can only be self-destructive, the NME is pushing ahead with its Cool List. Seven years they've been doing this now, and still not learning from their mistakes - which Stereogum helpfully point out: the NME is useless as separating 'cool' from 'notorious':

Before talking about NME's seventh annual cool list, it's kind of cool to look quickly at the 2007 Top 10 to see who's still ... cool. Lethal Bizzle? Barely. Amy Winehouse? Lucky to be alive. Ditto Keith Richards. Beth Ditto? No. Last year one, two, and three went, respectively, to Gallows' Frank Carter, Klaxons' Jamie Reynolds and CSS's Lovefoxx. This year they're all far from the top 10 and the coolest three folks didn't make the list at all 12 months ago.

Apparently, Liam Gallagher is cool again - number nine - while Noel isn't. Has nobody at the NME seen Liam's promo pictures, with his hair and attempts at soulful eyes making him look like Playmobil have licensed Snoopy? Alice Glass from Crystal Castles is at number one - because this is the one time a year when NME pretends it likes Gurls - and Jay-Z is at number two. He wasn't in the list last year; we're awaiting delivery of a full explanation as to why Jay-Z in the last twelve months was cool whereas Jay-Z between October 2006 and October 2007 wasn't even fiftieth coolest.

The only thing the cool list proves, year-in, year-out, is that the NME approaches music like a confused thirty-nine year old, trying to draw up some sort of list that will try and give it some sort of purchase on making sense of it all. Johnny Marr is slightly less cool than Dave from TV On The Radio, who in turn is slightly less cool than Lil Wayne. At least the Sunday Times Rich List shows the made-up numbers it uses in drawing up its equally pointless annual chart.


PeterDee said...

NME Cool list, is that an oxymoron?

Anonymous said...

"25 Peter Gabriel"

Ehm... what?!? Fair enough the whole thing is an embarrassment to not only themselves but to the rest of the British music establishment and proof that they have absolutely NO INTEREST IN MUSIC but Peter Gabriel?!? Have I missed out on some big comeback? Or worse... Have I missed out on some great in-joke?

Another thing. Besides the list being out of touch with what's good in music for all of the above reasons, in all honesty, and I am being serious here, where is Rick Astley? I mean who has been cooler in the industry this year? His music might've sucked 20 years ago and actually (and in my opinion, shockingly) sound even worse today but he's managed to take a joke, which most other people would've been hurt or angered by, like a thoroughly decent fellow, managing to restrain his exploitation of it where others might have milked it for all its worth. What's cooler than that?

Anonymous said...

anon - the two paragraphs you wrote kind of cancel eachother out, if you see what i mean...

and gabriel is in there because he's namechecked by vampire weekend in one of their songs, had a gushing column written about him in the mag and worked with hot chip this year. not necessarily 'cool' but certainly more relevant to nme's readership at the mo than he has been at any time in the last decade.

Dan said...

I'm upset that you think 39 year-olds make lists.

For one, that is just so unfair.

For two, I need no list to make sense of da yout dems' crazy junglist riddims.

And for three, etc. etc.

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