Chris Brown plea-bargains his ass out of jail

So, it's six months community service and five years' probation for Chris Brown, following a plea-bargain deal.

Judge Patricia Schnegg told him: "I think it's commendable that you took responsibility for your conduct, sir."

Although, surely, that he only did this after a couple of months of trying to find a way to weasel out of responsibility by trying to shift the focus to the LAPD is a little less commendable?

As part of the ruling, Brown and Rihanna have to keep fifty yards apart from each other:

except at entertainment industry events when the distance is reduced to 10 yards.

Thank god the US courts are prepared to show the organisers of the MTV Video Awards a little flexibility with their seating plans.

This apparent faith in the power of the goody bag to regulate Brown's behaviour is only slightly tarnished by the assault having taken place on the eve of the Grammys.