Gordon in the morning: You could have just said sorry

Yesterday, Gordon used time and money to snicker at how camp it was for Ronaldo to wear a cap.

I think even Gordon must have realised that he'd crossed a line, as today Bizarre suddenly lurches in the opposite direction, as Gordon's former deputy files Pete Samson a slightly different story:

CHAMPAGNE-swilling RONALDO celebrates his £80million transfer by sharing a raunchy night with PARIS HILTON.

The winking winger, 24, kissed and cuddled the 28- year-old socialite in a Hollywood club before they headed to her sister's home.

The scoring machine and Paris got down and dirty as they teamed up to celebrate the soccer ace's £80million transfer.

"I think we've gone a bit far with the suggestions that Ronaldo is gay, boss"
"Okay, let's run a piece that suggests he's having sex with a lady. Balance, innit."

Oddly, Gordon's gay-tent-o-meter or whatever it was meant to be seems to be out of action for this story.

Meanwhile, Gordon applauds Lily Allen for condemning the BNP:

Lil's album, It's Not Me, It's You, has a track called Fuck You which attacks racists, BNP politicians and homophobics.

People like Lily are role models. It's good to see her speaking out against these mugs.

Yes, it is brilliant. Although is Gordon entirely sure - as he waits for that Ronaldo piece to fall off the front of Bizarre - that he might not be one of the "mugs"?