We are all of us in the gutter, but some are pretending to be seeing stars

They're taking We Will Rock You on a tour round the country - I think the phrase is "sharing the pain" - and they're planning to make a bit of a fuss in Edinburgh:

Queen stars Brian May and Roger Taylor have revealed they will join the star-studded cast of the smash hit musical based on the band for the opening night at the Playhouse next Wednesday.

Didn't ask Paul Rogers, then?

Still, a star-studded cast. That's exciting. Who have you got studding the cast with these stars?

The announcement is a huge boost for the thousands of fans who have already snapped up some of the tickets for We Will Rock You, expecting to see the likes of Darren Day and Coronation Street actor Kevin Kennedy sing Queen classics.

Is that a star-studded cast or not? Because the phrase "it's a huge boost" implies that, without the presence of May and Taylor, it'd be a bit of a let-down. "Cheer up, there's two of the people who actually got in the way of Freddie Mercury going to be on stage."

May said: "We are completely hands-on, and we will be visiting.

"People definitely come out of the theatre feeling that in a strange way they now know us, Queen, and our struggle, our journey."

They come away understanding your journey? But this is the plot of the play:

We Will Rock You' is a futuristic tale which tells of a massive corporation - Globalsoft - which sends computer generated music to all of the people on the planet. Singing, musical instruments, and any expression of creativity, are banned. But Lost Texts are known to exist which talk of music from years gone by. A group of rebels (the Bohemians) strive to discover the lost music, and bring down the corporation. The two heroes, Galileo and Scaramouche, discover musical instruments buried in rock, which they use to vaporise the head of the corporation (The Killer Queen), and send the Power Of Rock around the world to free the masses, thus enabling the masses to be musically creative once again.

You do know that isn't something which happened to you, don't you, Brian? If people are coming out of the theatre going 'thank god Scaramouche out of Queen found those hidden guitars', not only have they not understood your journey, but they've confused made-up bobbins with real life.