Gordon in the morning: Coldplay appear to have hit puberty

Having a bunch of tits in a Coldplay video is more-or-less impossible to avoid, as Coldplay will be in it.

Having actual breasts though? That sounds a bit desperate. But if the idea was to make Gordon tumescent, job done:

COLDPLAY will have seen more boobs than Hugh Hefner by the end of this week.

The band came up with a winning idea for the video for their next single, Charlie Brown — a warehouse party featuring a load of topless girls.

Management placed an advert offering to pay extras £100 for the job — with an extra 100 quid for any girls willing to whip their shirts off and jiggle about.

A further £100 was also laid on the table for anyone up for getting sprayed. Although it didn't specify what with.

So far, so tiresomely sexist. Is there any way that multimillionaires paying a few quid to women to get their tits out could be made an even bigger cringe?

The advert also asked for an army of "edgy Hoxtonian types aged from 18 to 35".

Edgy Hoxtonian types. Yes, that would do it.