Gordon in the morning: Spies like JLS

Let's hope the plans for Aston Merrygold's stag do weren't supposed to be a secret, as Gordon Smart has published them today:

They [the rest of the band] have called in an ex-MI5 spook to help kidnap him and see he gets a more extreme fright than a few hours handcuffed to a lamppost.

To be fair, Ortise appears to have gurgled the details to the Sun.

Hmm. How wise is it to tell everybody - including the target - that there's going to be a hi-jinks style kidnapping of a high-profile bloke? If you were planning to kidnap a star for real, it would be useful to know there's one who would go "Ha! This is FUN! Oh, you guys..." for at least the first half-hour or so.

Still, famous people have the sort of watertight security that would mean something like that could never happen, right?

In totally unrelated news:

SIMON Cowell found a woman intruder in his bathroom — armed with a BRICK.

Are we absolutely sure this isn't some crazy prank stunt pulled by Ant and/or Dec?