Thatcher: Ding Dong results

So, if you were involved with the Ding Dong campaign, you might be thinking you'd succeeded pretty well: the push to get the song charting became a media obsession; front pages in the Mail, Express and Telegraph; BBC management thrown into panic; Charles Moore's confused egg-features caught in puzzled confusion on Question Time. There was even the spectacular contra-campaign which saw Maggie lovers either unwittingly or witlessly buying a punk song that was also an attack on their hero.

As a way of ensuring that the nation was reminded not everyone revered Thatcher, it worked like a charm.

And it even made number two in the charts.

It turns out, though, that the whole thing was a failure.

Luckily, Louise Mensch is on hand to explain why:

It's so good to see that #HopeNotHate triumphed and #DingDidnt flopped at the fence. Much like her opponents in life :) #Thatcher

— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) April 14, 2013

Yes, she really did attempt to hijack the name of the anti-racism campaign to hashtag it. Classy.

Did it really matter that the song only got to number two? Probably not, but there's something very Thatcherite, very 'either you're a winner or you're nothing', about the way of viewing the chart position.

But what of the lowly 35 position for I'm In Love With Margaret Thatcher? Was that hashtag hatenothope, then?

Guys: chart is WHOLE WEEK sales not final position. So awesome of #GranthamStyle to make it in in 1 day...

— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) April 14, 2013

Louise doesn't understand much about the charts, it turns out. The Notsensibles campaign kicked off on Friday, which is two and a half days of chart-qualifying sales, not one.

And yet, oddly, while suggesting you had to make adjustments for the short time the Love campaign was running...

So there you go. A song they planned to be at No. 1 when Lady #Thatcher died - mobilised for in advance, bought all week - #DingDidnt #fail

— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) April 14, 2013

Except Thatcher died on Monday and the Ding Song campaign didn't get underway until Tuesday, so, er, it didn't have a full week's sales, either.

This Tweet is even odder:

And despite weeks of planning I'm still betting ... #DingDidnt - fingers crossed!! #HopeNotHate

— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) April 14, 2013

Weeks of planning? How would the Ding Dong campaign have had weeks to plan? Unless Thatcher had phoned up a couple of months back - "I've just seen a fortune teller who's advised me not to bother getting started on the Borgen box set..."

HA! #dingdidnt Planned since 2007 and couldn't manage what Ant and Dec did with no planning in a week. Victory for decency and respect!

— Nik Smith (@niksmith84) April 14, 2013

Except, again, Nik, Ant and Dec's sales ran for a full week. And I think they sold about 10,000 fewer copies.

So, there we have it: Tens of thousands of people buy a record specifically to show a lack of respect for their hero, and yet it's still a victory because Ant And Dec had got to number one with only the top-rated Saturday night TV show.

History is going to judge us all harshly, isn't it?