NME Awards 2014: Did they mention the Arctic Monkeys?

Well, now this week's NME Arctic Monkeys propaganda-style cover makes sense. How could they treat Alex Turner's toe-curling performance at the Brits as anything other than triumphant, knowing there were six million NME Awards in the cupboard with his name on, to be distributed this week.

Here's that list of NME Awards winners in full:

Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Lily Allen
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys

Lily Allen? Oh, yes. The best solo artist. According to the NME. You might recall her work in the time period that voting covered was Hard Out Here, and a cover of a sodding Keane tune to sell some soft furnishing.

To be fair, she was in a category where she was up against McCartney, Kanye West and Bowie, so it was a bit of a Hobson's choice category - there wasn't really any way you could vote for anyone new or fresh.

But let's face it, these awards are the NME's chance to show it knows what's going on, and on the awards page on the website there's this:

Yeah, the NME is still trying to sell Christmas subscriptions at the end of February.

Here's the actual list of winners in full:

Godlike Genius
Blondie

Songwriters' Songwriter
Paul McCartney

Award For Innovation
Damon Albarn

Teenage Cancer Trust Outstanding Contribution to Music Award
Belle & Sebastian

Best British Band supported by Windows Phone
Arctic Monkeys

Best International Band supported by Austin, Texas
Haim

Best Solo Artist
Lily Allen

Best New Band supported by Mossimo
Drenge

Best Live Band supported by Gig Buddy
Arctic Monkeys

Best Album supported by PS4 InFAMOUS Second Son
Arctic Monkeys, 'AM'

Best Track supported by Blackstar Amps
Disclosure, 'White Noise'

Best Music Video supported by Domino's
Eagulls, 'Nerve Endings'

Best Festival
Glastonbury

Best TV Show
Breaking Bad

Best Music Film
Made Of Stone

Philip Hall Radar Award supported by Monster Headphones
Fat White Family

Best Reissue
The Clash, 'Sound System'

Best Band Blog Or Twitter
Alana Haim, Haim

Best Book
Morrissey, Autobiography

Best Small Festival
Swn