Hey, want to know how to destroy festival experiences a little bit more?

A PR message aimed at festival goers arrives digitally.

There is no doubt that experiencing the Stagecoach Country Music Festival is an extraordinary and memorable experience

The Turnpike Troubadours are on the bill, which - to be honest - gives me doubts. But do go on.

But, the driving and traffic can turn an amazing experience into an unforgettable hassle.

This is a California festival, so maybe they've got a point. Perhaps we should think about getting public transport? Are you a bus company?

Freeways getting out of LA and San Diego will always be congested on Friday afternoon and getting out of the festival area on Monday can back up the 10 Freeway for hours.

You're not going to suggest a bus, are you? Perhaps this will be about not being a twit and turning up just before the thing starts and leaving as soon as it's over?

The best option to ensure an overall amazing weekend is to...

Yes?

book a private jet to Stagecoach Festival.

Yeah, as if festival costs haven't already run out of control enough, you can burn through cash and the planet by chartering a plane to fly.

To a country music festival.

It's what Loretta would have wanted.

But hold on a minute... the festival doesn't take place at an airport, does it?

When you fly with Pacific Coast Jet, we land at Bermuda Dunes Airport, just minutes from Stagecoach Festival grounds.

Fifteen minutes. When there's no traffic.

We can also arrange ground transportation to conveniently deliver you right to your hotel or other accommodations.

Ground transportation. That kind of sounds like you'll be going on roads.

On Monday morning, we'll arrange pick up on your schedule and you'll fly right over the massive traffic jam on the freeway below.

The massive traffic jam which, somehow, you will have magically been able to get through in order to get to the airport.

Still, it's a useful warning: if you go to the Stagecoach Festival, you'll be rubbing shoulders with the sort of entitled dicks who try to buy their way out of traffic jams.