Liam Gallagher calls for "mischief"

Liam Gallagher - or, since David Cameron's resignation honours, Baron Gallagher of Burnage - has called for more "mischief" from musicians:

Encouraging today's musicians to cause more mischief, Gallagher said: "There is no excuse for young bands to act like grown men. When you're older and have kids, cool it out a bit, but I get up to more mischief in my butcher’s than [they] do on their fucking tours. Maybe it's just where we're from."

He added: "I guess it goes back to the working-class thing. The shit-kickers aren’t breaking through. A lot of music these days is by middle-class kids."

That's right, a man who is so middle class he still visits a butchers is complaining about the lack of authentic working class voices.

He's doing this in a press junket to promote a film that dredges up the long-cold corpse of Oasis. You wonder, as you try to swim through all the attention this movie is getting, why young bands struggle to get their voices heard, don't you?

Sidenote: what fucking "mischief" does he get up to in his butcher's anyway? Asking how much the venison costs and then saying "that's quite dear?"

Gordon in the morning: Mumford 'umble

You know that point in Michael Caine's career where he suddenly started wittering on about how it's great in America because nobody cares about class? That's the point Mumford And Sons have reached:

anjo player WINSTON MARSHALL said: “Class is a big issue here. And some people get picked on more than others. I think we probably do.

“I mean, it doesn’t help that we wear waistcoats and tweed the whole time.

“But there is a reverse snobbishness in England towards that sort of stuff.

“And I think that’s one of the reasons we really enjoy America, ’cos we’re classless.”

Yeah, Winston. People think you're posh boys because of the tweed. Nothing to do with you and Mumford having met at an Eton Group private school, of course.

Worth remembering here that a couple of years back, there was an attempt to drag The Vaccines into the posh band part of the venn diagram, but, despite the parents with expensive London property and the best efforts of Simon Price, the label never stuck.

Compare that with the Mumfords. They can send their footmen to the front gates all they like, displaying "We are classless" messages on gilded easels until it's time for a kitchen supper, but the sense that they'd be played in a sketch by John Cleese rather than Ronnie Corbett always hangs over them.

I don't think it's that America doesn't notice this; indeed, it's a big part of their appeal over in the US - a country which happily shoved all the guns from the Royal baby salute onto the news.

If Winston turned up with his banjo but without the accent in New York, he'd not be given Grammys and would probably be thrown onto a bus heading off to the Appalachians.

It's okay for the Mumfords to complain about how they get "picked on". They seem less interested in admitting the massive advantages their background gave them.

James Blunt's dad defends his posh son

Yesterday's Guardian picked up on James Blunt's mum saying it was unfair to pick on her son for being posh, and drafted in Blunt's dad as well.

He decided it was just like racism:

Blunt's father, also a retired army officer, told the Guardian later that his wife had contacted the BBC because "she was so fired up" about the issue and thought coverage of it had been "so one-sided".

He supported her compliants of inverse snobbery. "It's ridiculous," said Charles Blount. "The key question is not about [someone's] background; it's to do with their talent. It's like racism or anything else: people should be judged on their talent, not their background."

Yes, it's like racism. That's exactly it. Having someone say 'your upbringing has given you connections and a confidence that has made it easier for you to obtain a record contract from companies run by people who share your background' is virtually the same as an English Defence League march.

Social mobility shocker: Charts light on oiks

Interestingly, the Daily Mail seems genuinely upset that the charts are being 'dominated' by public school kids:

In 1990 the charts were full of bands espousing working class angst and northern soul.

But some twenty years on it seems that it is British public schools that are delivering the pop stars of the moment.

A new survey into the heritage of modern musical acts has found that 60 per cent of acts in the charts today - attended public school - compared to just one per cent two decades ago.

It suggests the main reason for this is the cutting of public funding for music lessons - steady on, Mail, you're starting to sound like you're pre-May Liberal Democrats or something.

There is the another possibility, though, that it's just become more respectable for posh kids to be in bands now.

Also, back in 1990, the charts felt a lot older - Maria McKee, Madonna, Cliff, Paula Abdul, the B-52s, Elton John. Could it be that bands aren't actually getting any posher, but they're having hits younger, and so the kids who in 1990 would scuff about for a couple of years, go 'sod this, I'm going to call Uncle Barney and get a job at the merchant bank' are actually being successful before their trust fund manager threatens to cut them off?

Dannii Minogue: Aspirational?

The Telegraph says this, this morning:

While most television personalities are desperate to play up their "working class" credentials, Dannii Minogue is thrilled to have been named this week as a middle class icon.

"That's amazing," she said at a tea party at Harvey Nichols in Knightsbridge to launch her Project D clothing range. "I'm a middle class hero. I will embrace that title."

The Telegraph doesn't say who or what gave her the title of middle class icon, and Dannii seems to have jumped to the conclusion that she's been called a hero. She could, just as easily, be a middle class icon amongst the upper classes, a warning in teeth and hair: "Don't lose all our money on the Qatari stock exchange, we don't want to end up all Dannii Minogue."

Don't laugh, it'll be Tory party policy before you know it

Ian Brown thinks that working-class pride can be rebuilt by showing them 50 Cent movies:

He tells Britain's Mojo magazine, "I think all kids should be made to watch the Biggie Smalls film (Notorious), the Eminem story (8 Mile) and the 50 Cent film (Get Rich or Die Tryin').

"There's not enough about working class kids getting on in life, the working class got cut out of history, and we can't let that happen.

"I met Biggie Smalls in September 1995 and it was mega (amazing). He was like something out of the Bible, talking in parables, and he looked like an old '20s jazz star. Some days I have to pinch myself that I met him."

The explanation of what "mega" means is ContactMusic's, I should point out.

But, seriously, Ian? You think that Fiddy is going to somehow inspire a kid living in Moulsecoomb and isn't as far from their experiences as, say, giving them a copy of Love On The Dole? Also, isn't part of the message of Get Rich that you can make a fortune dealing drugs as a handy fall-back if you're not that good at rapping?

Twittergem: Calvin Harris

All is not rosy in the world of @calvinharris:

THIS ENTIRE INDUSTRY IS FULL OF RICH PEOPLES KIDS, EVERYWHERE, FUCKING RICH PEOPLES KIDS RICH PEOPLES KIDS
3 minutes ago from web

RICH PEOPLES KIDS GETTING GOOD REVIEWS BECAUSE MUMMY FUCKED THE JOURNO IN THE 80S
2 minutes ago from web

FUCK YOU RICH PEOPLE YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME I DON'T GIVE A FUCK I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE YOU ARE ONLY RICH PEOPLE
half a minute ago from web

Is 'having to give good reviews to the children of someone you had sex with thirty years earlier' now part of dating etiquette? Blimey.

Hang on, he's not done yet:

RICH PEOPLE MEAN FUCK ALL TO ME SERIOUSLY. I'M MAKING MUSIC FOR REAL PEOPLE AND REAL PEOPLE DANCE - RICH PEOPLE STAND AT THE BACK
3 minutes ago from web

FUCK THE RICH PEOPLES KIDS WITH THEIR JOBS AS RUNNERS ON TV SHOWS OR THEIR 'CLUB NIGHTS' FUCK YOU YOU'VE DONE NOTHING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL
2 minutes ago from web

The Cameron talent hour

In today's Times, and built-around the Boris Johnson's sister band Second Person, is a piece about the rise of what, I suspect, we'll have to call Posh Pop.

Lloyd Grossman is wheeled on to explain:

“The Crewe by-election was by no means the turning point, but it was symptomatic of everyone having better things to do now than worry about class warfare. I have long held the view that the less you know about a performer the better. I honestly don’t really want to know where any musician went to school or what his parents did.”

Oh, good lord; it's not bad enough that politics has been overwashed with the privileged trying to suggest that we're all equal now, as if they're not being kept aloft by the pocketbooks of their parents - now they've come for music, too.

Of course, up to a point, Grossman's right: Kinky Machine were no worse for having been led by the son of an Earl; Kula Shaker would have been chased out of any right-thinking town if Mills' folks had been tractor drivers rather than actor-directors. But given that the Times found the class angle the most interesting thing to say about them, you are left with the feeling that if you don't have a guide to the bloodstock, all you're left with are a few rich kids who can afford the instruments and time off to have a jolly old time, with chums who have the cash to promote without needing to worry about the odd loss.

Suffering and poverty don't automatically make for better music, but when you're actually making real sacrifices to make music, that commitment can often be tasted in the mix.