Mail Clark

As if to prove that it's equal-opportunities shallow, the Daily Mail chooses to mark Dave Clark's elevation to the Hall of Fame by focusing on his appearance:

Clark's hair appeared to have been dyed back to its 1960s colour and any grey on his beard looked to have been blended in with a touch-up brush. His face was remarkably wrinkle-free and there was a conspicuous absence of lines on his forehead.

They would, of course, have been just as happy to run a story on how he no longer looked like he did in the 1960s. Indeed, it looks like they might have been expecting a snaggly-toothed madman:

In a rare public appearance, Clark, who lives the life of a recluse in a multi-million-pound mews house in London...

"Lives the life of a recluse" in a tabloid means "doesn't appear in the newspapers" - we suspect that Clark doesn't actually live the life of a recluse at all.