Steve O plots new career

We had been going to suggest that Steve O was plotting to add a second string to his bow, but then we realised we're not entirely sure he's got a single string yet. "Star of Jackass" isn't really a job description, is it? It's like suggesting that there's a career structure for not having a sense of shame.

Anyway, now he's getting musical on us: he's releasing a rap album. Oh, and, almost as if he's aware that it's a ridiculous idea, he's tried to pre-empt "idiot makes album to try and parlay his fifteen minutes into thirty" critcism by suggesting that will only sell albums for him:

To anyone that chooses to be critical of my decision to make this rap album, I've got bad news for you, it's a great album. I've been recording it with the producers of the one and only G-Unit and it is, indisputably, incredible, and made by the most talented people in rap music. So, since there's no criticisizing the quality of my album, anyone who chooses to will do nothing but sell units for me-- if that's what you're into, let me thank you ahead of time. Thank you.

If only Maureen From Driving School had thought of that one.

We do love the way he refers to "G-Unit" and "G-Unit staff" throughout what is a rather lengthy post - almost as if he's not prepared to name names. We'd imagine if you were learning football skills from Wayne Rooney, you wouldn't blog about it referring coyly to "Manchester United players", would you?

We haven't heard the album. It might be brilliant. However, we've seen Steve-O's idea of what makes good television, and if that is the standards he'd bringing to the once-proud genre of rap, even having Michael Franti and Sugar Ray Dinke on board to do everything bar pose for the cover photo might not be able to salvage this one.

Michael Jackson: The 50 Cent solution?

We'll believe it if it ever happens, of course, but there are rumours flying around that Michael Jackson is about to release a comeback with the help of 50 Cent and G-Unit.

We wonder what attracted Michael to the idea of working with them?

Recent sources state that Jacko’s first comeback single will be out within weeks and will feature the aforementioned bullet-proof rapper alongside Lucy Diamonds and DJ Whoo Kid.

We can picture an enthusiastic Michael squeaking "You had me at 'Kid'".

The idea, it seems, is to try and rebuild Michael, literally, from the street up; appealing over the heads of people who remember him when he had a face, or who can't hear the words "Michael Jackson" without taking two swigs of Jesus Juice, or who followed the jury who cleared him of child abuse telling the media that they only thought that he hadn't done it that time, or who made that ridiculous video with Macauly Culkin, or... sorry, where were we? Yes, the idea: to find people who might accept the idea of Jacko being a modern musical powerhouse rather than someone who peaked in 1983. Urban kids are seen as the best bet, but really, to try and pull that sort of trick, they'd be better off trying somewhere like Albania or Burma, where the public might have missed the media coverage over the last few years.

Yayo no-no

G-Unit rapper Tony Ya-yo (who's really called Melvin) has got into trouble with police accused of assaulting someone else. Apparently, though, it's a fourteen year old boy. And it was slapping.

Unsurprisingly, he's denying it all:

"We adamantly deny the allegations set forth by the people today."

Probably because its shaming.