Brits 2016: James Bay hasn't bothered to check Lily Allen's arguments, but pretty sure they're wrong

James Bay - who clearly is never going to take the hat off, is he? Like a BHS version of Jamiroquai - is caught in war of words with Lily Allen.

Yeah, it's a bit like the European Union Referendum, in that whoever is in the right you're still going to end up in a group that makes you feel uncomfortable.

The story so far is that Allen has looked at the shortlist for this year's awards, and noticed that being white and being nominated appears to correlate quite closely.

James is sad she had to say such things.

He first picks up on Allen's claim that the shortlist could have been put together by Alan Partridge:

“I haven’t seen REO Speedwagon in the nominations, so I don’t know if it’s entirely Partridge."

That sort of pedantic-but-missing-the-point response is, in itself, a perfect Partridge - it's "I've got a hundred and four friends".

It’s varied nominations. It’s about music. I don’t know why she’s had to go down that route.

"I haven’t looked closely into all the nominations but it’s interesting she should bring that up."

James, there, happily claiming the nominations are are varied while admitting that he hasn't "looked closely" at them. It's like claiming all the tracks on Bay's album are wheezy half-baked nursery rhymes without having listened to closely to them.

What's more disappointing though, is that Bay's response to a not unreasonable complaint about a lack of diversity in the nominations is to say "I don't know why she's had to go down that route."

"That route", eh, James? Why's she had to point out that the shortlist seems only interested in what the white kids are doing?

James appears to believe that "it's music" is enough to explain why so very, very few black musicians have been deemed good enough to get a place on the shortlist. That's a very bad look, James. You're effectively saying "hey, if some black acts had managed to make a decent record, their music would have lifted them onto the shortlist". By trying to insist the Brits shortlist is colourblind, you're just dismissing black artists in the same way the Brits panel has done.

Still, James isn't going to get into that - he's going to attack Allen directly instead:

"I can’t think of her last album, when she last released something.”

Yeah, it's true that Allen hasn't released a record in 2015, but she did in 2014, and it went straight to number one. It's not like she's Wendy James.

More importantly, you shouldn't need to have had a hit single in the last twelve months to call the Brits out on this.

And, although Lily hasn't always been above criticism for her actions not meeting her words in the past, if the best response to 'why is this list so white' you can come up with is 'you haven't had an album out in 18 months', you might be better off shutting up.

The Brit Awards Shortlist is out

You can understand Adele getting a bunch of shortlist slots. But, really, British music industry? James Bay gets nominated in four categories?

Although, technically, Adele shouldn't have been in the lists at all - her album came out in December, and traditionally the Brits have covered a year running November to November. But a swift rewrite of the rules has ensured she'll turn up.

Here's the full list that people call moribund:

British male solo artist
Aphex Twin
Calvin Harris
James Bay
Jamie xx
Mark Ronson

British female solo artist
Adele
Amy Winehouse
Florence + the Machine
Jess Glynne
Laura Marling

British group
Blur
Coldplay
Foals
One Direction
Years & Years

British breakthrough act
Catfish and the Bottlemen
James Bay
Jess Glynne
Wolf Alice
Years & Years

Critics' choice
Winner: Jack Garratt
Izzy Bizu
Frances

Brits global success award
To be announced

British single
Adele - Hello
Calvin Harris & Disciples - How Deep Is Your Love
Ed Sheeran & Rudimental- Bloodstream
Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do
James Bay - Hold Back The River
Jess Glynne - Hold My Hand
Little Mix - Black Magic
Olly Murs ft Demi Lovato - Up
Philip George - Wish You Were Mine
Years & Years - King

British album of the year
Adele - 25
Coldplay - A Head Full of Dreams
Florence + the Machine - How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful
James Bay - Chaos and the Calm
Jamie xx - In Colour

British producer of the year
Charlie Andrew
Mark Ronson
Mike Crossey
Tom Dalgety

British artist video of the year
Adele - Hello
Calvin Harris & Disciples - How Deep Is Your Love
Ed Sheeran - Photograph
Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do
Jessie J - Flashlight
Little Mix - Black Magic
Naughty Boy ft Beyonce & Arrow Benjamin - Runnin' (Lose It All)
One Direction - Drag Me Down
Sam Smith - Writing's On The Wall
Years & Years - King

International male solo artist
Drake
Father John Misty
Justin Bieber
Kendrick Lamar
The Weeknd

International female solo artist
Ariana Grande
Bjork
Courtney Barnett
Lana Del Rey
Meghan Trainor

International group
Alabama Shakes
Eagles of Death Metal
Major Lazer
Tame Impala
U2

There are odd moments of joy in the list - I think the thirty seconds of Courtney Barnett we get when they run through the international female shortlist is going to be the highlight of the ceremony.

But, ultimately, it's the presence of Amy Winehouse which makes this so frustrating. No offence to Amy, but... she's not exactly had the most creative 2015, has she? Yes, there was a movie about her, but the message "to be an exciting female star in British music in 2015, it helped if you'd been dead half a decade" isn't exactly making much of a claim for the scene, is it?

Although if the message to women artists is "you're better off dead", that's probably more encouraging than telling the men that they should be aspiring to be James Bay.

The hat at Bay

The thing that should worry James Bay is not that he has a "trademark hat" (although that is worrying), but that every interview seizes on the hat (figuratively, not like a bully stealing a hat and throwing it over a nearby fence, even if that would do us all a favour.)

No, the worry for James Bay is that the hat is pretty much the only thing anyone is interested in. That he's basically a cardboard cutout until you get above the brow.

The Observer caught up with him at the weekend, and talk turned to the hat:

The hat remains staunchly in place during our two meetings, but Bay plans to take it off one day. “I might shave my head,” he says. “I hope to have a long career and I don’t want to be defined by things that aren’t the music.” For now, though, it feels like a uniform: he puts it on and he’s ready for work. “It’s my suit. There should be an element of mystique between the fans and the artist. That bit between the stage and the audience. I think that’s necessary. I used to dress up like Michael Jackson. I didn’t have the glove, but I had a red jacket like in Thriller.”

The idea that his dull hat is adding a air of mystery to his act is heartbreaking, isn't it? Like someone who works in an office choosing a Daffy Duck tie to try and create a sense that he might have a personality.

More grim, though, is this description of the hat as a "suit" or a "uniform". The musician that the BPI thinks is the greatest hopeful of this year's hopefuls thinks of his music as a job that one might put a uniform on to do. Perhaps it's not a hat he should have gone with; maybe he should arrive on stage carrying a timesheet.