George W Bush zings back at Kanye

Kanye West might think he's fast with a line, but he wasn't counting on George W Bush, who has shot back at West's 'Bush doesn't care about black people' jibe just, erm, five years after it happened.

Bush has written a book - I know, bless - and he's currently trying to promote it to anyone who might have some money left after he'd crapped the US economy into a junkyard. On a tour to promote the book, Bush brought up West while talking to Matt Lauer:

'He called me a racist', Mr Bush said on the primetime special.

When Lauer clarified that West said, 'George Bush doesn't care about black people', Mr Bush reiterated that to him those words meant West was claiming, 'he's a racist'.

Meanings of words, George? That was never really your strong suit when you were President, was it?

'And I didn't appreciate it then. I don't appreciate it now', Mr Bush continued.

Actually, I don't think West was even dignifying you with being racist, George - at least a racist might have been engaging with Hurricane Katrina; West was suggesting you didn't even think it worth your time to think about.

'It's one thing to say, "I don't appreciate the way he's handled his business". It's another to say, "This man's a racist". I resent it, it's not true and it was one of the most disgusting moments in my presidency.

In the book he wrote: 'The suggestion that I was racist because of the response to Hurricane Katrina represented an all-time low'.

Well, there's some common ground between Bush and West; both thought the episode was the low of the Bush presidency, just for different reasons.

But it wasn't really West that made people think you didn't give two hoots for the poor of Louisiana, George. It was more the sitting about on your hands not doing anything while people were drowning, and then the not-saying-anything when the residents of New Orleans were being treated as hostile as they tried to survive in their own city. That sort of thing.

By the way, this passage from the Mail's report on the Bush book is also quite priceless:

Mr Bush also reveals in Decision Points that he stands firm on his decision to invade Iraq, resents being accused of lying about WMDs and even considered dropping Dick Cheney from his 2004 campaign to 'demonstrate that I was in charge'.

The idea to replace Cheney was prompted in 2003 during a private lunch with the former vice president who offered to drop out of the race.

So Bush was going to show how much he was in charge by, erm, accepting the suggestion of the Vice President that he step aside. That's decideration in action right there.

Avril: She'd have rebuilt those levees single-handed

We might have given the impression recently that Avril Lavigne lives in a world where only Avril Lavigne counts. Nothing - nothing - could be further from the truth. She's giving:

"I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, 'Take it to Katrina!' I also like to give stuff to people who are my 'workers', especially if they don't make much money."

See? Lavigne knows that some of her staff are getting poor wages, and she's going to make sure that none of them go hungry. Assuming they can eat unwanted clothes. Obviously, she could see they get paid more, but then she wouldn't have the money to be able to fill six boxes with unused ties and Hot Topic make-up when disaster strikes.

That would be an actually happy ending, then

Having been written off as missing, presumed dead, during the bursting of the New Orleans levees and the bungled relief attempts following Hurricane Katrina, it's great to hear that Fats Domino returned to the stage in New Orleans last night.