Boweling out

There's currently more stuff about Maurice Gibb's bowels online than you could possibly want - dotmusic at least spare us many of the details - but nobody seems to be able to tell us if this makes Barry's case stronger or if it means it was all a bit of a sad accident. Anyone? mail us at trust me, I'm a doctor@bothsidesnow.co.uk

Tragedy

It's almost incredible to us, but somehow the BeeGees managed to really piss away any wave of sympathy we felt for them during their BBC interview [Real] this morning.

Of course, it's terrible to lose a brother under any circumstances, and to believe that it might be as a result of medical malpractice is even worse. But Robin and - especially - Barry just came across like the worst northern stereotypes, arranging a scrap before the wake's even taken place. Self-aggrandising and aggressive, they actually managed to make their walk-out on Clive Anderson's show look even-tempered and considered.

Perhaps the highlight came with Barry stating Maurice was "one of the greatest recording artists of all time", leaving no doubt that he meant the other two were sitting on that sofa.

We reckon they were hired by Jacko

Who else could be as low as to mug Jarvis Cocker and steal his glasses?

Talking of jacko, pyro pointed out that he'd been to visit Maurice Gibb in hospital (BeeGee no longer at death's door, by the way, but sort-of-round the garden gate) - presumably because its one of the few occasions he can wear a medical mask and blend in rather than stand out.

Maurice hoping to be staying alive

Maurice Gibb in critical condition after suspected heart attack. And if you think our headline is tactless, what about Ananova - should an ill man have his marriage to Lulu held against him?