World Cup: J-Lo doesn't make it to the finals

If the BBC has chosen a poor theme for the World Cup, the official song from FIFA isn't going down any more smoothly:

FIFA said in a news release on Sunday that Cuban-American rapper Pitbull and Brazilian singer Claudia Leitte will sing the official tune "We Are One" before Brazil takes on Croatia on Thursday in Sao Paulo.

The song has let down many Brazilians who complain that it sounds too generic for Bossa Nova-crazed audiences in Brazil and that it features foreign musicians singing mostly in English and Spanish. Leitte sings only a few seconds at the end of the song in her native Portuguese.

It's unclear how the song was chosen, but given this is FIFA we can't rule out brown envelopes; strange handshakes; or mysterious deals relating to global gas supplies.

On the record, J-Lo adds... something, as this picture of her enthusiastically posing with Pitbull and in no way looking like she'd much rather be elsewhere, shows:

(editor's note: the caption on that photo says it's Pitbull; I'm not entirely sure it isn't the late Mike Reid.)

Having agreed to do the awkward photocall, though, Lopez seems to have had enough, and won't join her colleagues for a quick run-through prior to kick-off:

Soccer's governing body says Lopez cannot perform at Thursday's event because of unspecified "production issues."

Not only can she not be arsed to turn up, she can't even be arsed to come up with a proper excuse for not turning up.

Pitbull believes we'll have to wait for him to die to enjoy him

Pitbull is thinking about how history will judge him.

And history is going to love him, he reckons:

The 31-year-old rapper - whose real name is Armando Pirez - wouldn't be a fan of his own work if he were younger, but thinks his true ''brilliance'' will be appreciated in years to come.

This is a bit confusing - if he was younger, and making the same work, he'd hate it? Can you explain, Mr. Bull?

He said: ''If I was younger, I'd think it was some bulls**t. The music isn't brilliant."

I'm older than you, and I think it's some bullshit.

But, yes, we can agree that your music isn't brilliant. We might argue a bit over if it's actually music. Do go on.

''People don't understand brilliance until after the fact - which happens with all artists, whether that's Picasso, Michelangelo, Van Gogh.''

Let's just set aside the lofty company into which Pitbull is elbowing his way - he's less a Picasso than the bloke who draws willies on the toilet wall in a market town Wetherspoons - and just consider that claim.

Picasso was being enthusiastically collected on both sides of the Atlantic by 1905. During his lifetime, Michaelangelo was considered the greatest living artist - you don't get the Sistine Chapel gig if you're thought a bit edgy and only liked by the hipsters. Van Gogh did fail to breakthrough during his lifetime, so that's one out of three.