Gordon in the morning: I, an actor

Goodness... is this an orgy?

R-Patz’s romp with 3 women

No.

(And he got paid £8million for it)

So, in other words: Actor does acting job.

Gordon in the morning: No mail

Given the number of celebrity break-ups he writes about, you'd think Gordon Smart would have a better grasp of what happens when people split. And yet...:

THERE was no love lost between ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART on Valentine's Day. They didn’t even exchange cards.

Really? 'People who have split up don't send each other Valentine's Day cards'? That's news?

Gordon in the morning: Man wears hats

Who knew Gordon could balls-up a simple piece about a man wearing two hats? He manages it this morning:

[T]here is nothing religious about [Ronert Pattinson] dedication to American football teams.

Over two days R-Patz has worn the colours of two different clubs. I'm going to send him a Hibs hat, The Pride Of Edinburgh.

Perhaps Gordon was too busy having his "people" mock up an image of Robert Pattinson wearing a Hibernian hat to bother checking the two teams on his actual baseball caps. The Baltimore Orioles and the San Diego Padres.

Baseball teams, Gordon. The clue is in the name "baseball cap".