Champion denies plagiarism

With actual lawsuits pouring in now, Coldplay are backpedaling furiously from Chris Martin's original claims about being good at plagiarism. Latest part of the new stragegy is Will Champion telling Hampton Roads that they absolutely didn't steal Viva La Vida:

I don't know...in general, we're very...It's tough when people accuse you of stealing something when you know that you didn't. So, we accept that it's part of the territory and know it is only for some reason, God only knows why, the successful songs that seem to be the ones that are accused of being stolen. So you go figure it out.

Songs that people don't get to hear are seldom the focus of plagiarism cases? Songs where nobody is making money off the disputed version aren't worth the legal fees? Gosh, yes, Will, that is strange, isn't it?

To be fair, he has a point - it's hard to write a song that doesn't sound like something you've heard before. Especially when you're Coldplay, and all your songs sound like they've been around for a decade and half:

Yeah I mean I think if everyone...there are elements of our music that I've heard in other people's music but it's kind of...I don't know. It's interesting but a very difficult thing to define. How can you...there are only eight notes in an octave and no one owns them. And there are probably about 12,000 songs that feature the exact same chord progression. I think it lies on an intent to steal, which we certainly have never done and never would. So it's unfortunate but it's the way people are. That's that. We're confident we haven't done anything wrong.

Following those remarks, the writers of 12,000 songs announced plans to instruct solicitors.

Gordon in the morning: What a Lott for not a lot

With breathless enthusiasm, Gordon overpushes a session from Pixie Lott this morning:

WITH a cracking voice, an offer from top modelling agency Select and the backing of big record execs, new songbird PIXIE LOTT has it all before her.

"New songbird"? Oh, my.

Lott appears to be the result of Universal trying to splice Duffy and one of Girls Aloud (it doesn't matter which, just one of them), and Smart is VERY EXCITED:

Pixie had the cameramen mesmerised with her hotpants and five-inch stilettos.

Ah yes: there's nothing like an artists whose talent is measured in heel length, is there?

Remember — you saw her here first.

Assuming, of course, you hadn't seen her doing Dermot O'Leary a couple of weeks ago.

Meanwhile: Coldplay go rave.

No, no: really. Look, there's photographic evidence:

Hey... hang about a little... that's not a real photo, is it?

Mock-up ... how frontman Chris Martin might look

Why do they do this? Why? Seriously, Gordon, did someone pass that photo to you and you really thought "that's great, because sticking a face on some random body that may or may not be somebody at a rave really captures the idea of Coldplay going rave"? Seriously?

Although compared with the claim stuck on the story, the photo is like cinema verite. Because how have Coldplay gone rave?

COLDPLAY may have made their name with heart-stirring rock ballads.

But that’s about to change thanks to drummer WILL CHAMPION’s tinkering in the studio.

The tub-thumper wants to take the rockers on a rave odyssey after investing in some top-of-the-range beat-making equipment.

Yes, that's right - Gordon's "Coldplay go rave" story is actually "drummer buys a drum machine". There is no mock up of Will Champion opening a cardboard box.pixie lott