No Rock And Roll Fun

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE FIXX, OF COURSE: Rob Dean has been back in touch - we picture him unable to sleep, pacing the room all night, desperate to know more about this Popstars-The Rivals rejects band. And, in the small hours, he gets a call from a snitch. A trip to a deserted parking garage, some careful placing of pot plants, and he gets the facts for us. (Maybe he spent some time online, but I prefer my version, okay?).

It turns out that - being street - they're not Fix at all, they're Phixx. Although rather than sounding street, it sounds more like a bar being test marketed by Mars - "it's your basic biscuit and caramel combination, but with mint flecks in it". You can find out all about them here, although it can be summed up in the phrase 'they chant 'Liberty X were losers, too' before they go to bed every night'. This, though, is quite touching: "Nikk said the whole experience was exciting. He added: "We were worried people would forget about us. But I have found out we have a fans website." Bless him, apparently unaware that even Groundpig have got a fans website.

Hang on a moment... Nikk from Phixx? Let's hope they don't take personal bookings for him over the phone, else there's going to be a lot of angry Nikki Sixx fans at Kwik Save openings in Bassetlaw this year.