THE MUSES ARE HEARD

The desire for constant Arctic Monkeys stories shows no signs of declining, and today the News of the World is making cheques out to "stunning blonde" Lauren Bradwell. Who she? Apparently, she's the girl who inspired b-side Bigger Boys and Stolen Cars.

Or so she says, anyway:

"I knew as soon as I saw the lyrics that the song was about me, and Alex admits it.

"We dated when we were in the fourth year at Stocksbridge High School in Sheffield. He was a lovely lad and I still have feelings for him now. But this older boy charmed me away. I was impressed by stupid things, his age and the car. Now I wish I'd stayed with Alex."

Because, of course, a car might be impressive, but nothing impresses a showgirl like a number one single. Or album.

"It's mad seeing your school boyfriend become a worldwide star. I just wish I'd treated him better."

We do think it's quite encouraging that any number of lads might find their out-of-their-league turning-ex pause for just a moment now when they blurt "you'll be sorry when I'm number one."

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