Wednesday, December 13, 2006

No mention of Stay by the Wedding Present, we note

What, you probably weren't wondering, is the best song to play during sex?

We can't help wondering how badly your sexual technique must be if, not only can you fit it into the length of a three minute pop single, but you're also aware of what's playing on the CD player while you're doing it.

Anyway, some website company have collated a list of the "most arousing songs", mp3s of which we fully expect to be turning up for sale alongside "blue pills" in your inbox round about now:

1. Marvin Gaye Sexual Healing
2. U2 With Or Without You
3. Barry White My First My Last My Everything
4. Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin Je T'aime
5. Chris Isaac Wicked Game
6. Al Green Let's Stay Together
7. Phylis Nelson Move Closer
8. INXS I Need You Tonight
9. Madonna Justify My Love
10. Kylie Minogue Slow
11. Justin Timberlake Sexyback
12. Massive Attack Teardrop
13. Portishead Glorybox
14. Jimi Hendrix Foxy Lady
15. Goldfrapp Number 1

Now, we don't really want to even dignify this with any sort of response which suggests we should treat this as if it's some scientific research, but... does anyone really think "uh-oh... I'm moistening" when they hear that Marvin has a love that's like an oven, or has this just been put at the top because it's a song that's about the sex?

And, while we think With Or Without You is one of U2's better moments, does its cold bleakness really do it for anyone other than Bono?

And Sexyback? Really? Has anyone who fell for Timberlake's Action Man no-groin sexual simulacrum actually been through puberty yet?

Or is this just a list of songs which come up when you type "sex + music" into Google?