Saturday, January 06, 2007

Tourette: "I am not a celebrity, I am a free ordinary man"

Settling back into our usual timezone, we caught up with Celebrity Big Brother last night for the first time, which meant we only got a few short minutes of watching Donny Tourette regretting his decision to join the circus before he climbed the fence and was gone, quitting and returning to the arms of obscurity. We're presuming his role was an attempt to combine last year's Maggot (bloke from a comedy band) and Chantelle (person who wasn't a celebrity) in one housemate. Surely, the streets and cul-de-sacs of Great Britain must have rung to the words "I think he used to go out with the daughter of one of the Boomtown Rats" on Wednesday night.

Amongst those he left behind were quite a few pop people - Leo Sayer (permanently bemused face desperately hoping for best), H (now, apparently, preferring to be called Ian) from Steps and, in a "together at last" moment, S Clubber Jo O'Meara (still pushing the "a lot of people tell me my voice sounds like Karen Carpenter" - which is true, as it does often sound like she's throwing up.

O'Meara threw a strop when the housemates were played Reach during the course of business - "why would they do that?" she kept asking, apparently unaware that it's her greatest moment and - more interestingly - not noticing that nearly everyone else in the house was bellowing along in their own ways. Fancy being ashamed of a Great Pop Song which can unite everyone from a former comedy co-star to a Mirror "journalist" in a bout of happy singing.

The most famous pop-related internee, of course, is Jermaine Jackson, father to Jermajesty and brother of the more famous Michael. "I was lead singer" he told the house, "and Michael was just playing the bongos..." It's arguable that ending up sharing a house with Jade Goody is preferable to his brother's life of rootless taint and innuendo, but clearly Jermaine doesn't think so. The default setting for this year's series may well be Jermaine trying to not look too hurt to discover his presence in the sideshow is not generating awe and reverence, but merely prompting H from Steps to embark on ill-advised second-hand impressions of the BoSelecta version of Michael.


Simon said...

In that case you missed the genius self-foot shooting that was Donny's entrance on Wednesday, when having contrived not only to be booed into the house but be the target of a "who are yer?" chant he kept up the swaggering, swearing post-Axl rock star image for the thirty seconds or so before he clocked Leo Sayer and recognised him as someone whose house he used to go to when younger (neither expanded on this, unfortunately) and ended the launch show live feed being comprehensively ignored by the other housemates. He was hated on all the message boards even by people who'd never previously heard of his band (a few had to be assured that he wasn't a Paul Kaye character) by Thursday morning, which if you're the singer in a post-ironic poodle rock band is the kind of reception you aim for but perhaps less so if you're in a competition where popularity across the board of the viewing public is necessary.

Anonymous said...

Hey! Don't you know some really good celebrities websites?

Anonymous said...

"The default setting for this year's series may well be Jermaine trying to not look too hurt to discover his presence in the sideshow is not generating awe and reverence"

Heheh, something like that, yes ;) Did you see Danielle Lloyd's guest appearance on Jordan and what's-his-chops' chatshow? I didn't, but Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe helpfully screened a clip last night. It consisted of Jordan asking "Are you a racist?"
DL: "No."
J: "Have you got any black friends?"
DL: "Yes, lots!"

See? We were all wrong about her! When she said of Shilpa "She should just fuck off home", it was probably because she'd heard a disturbing rumour that Shilpa had left the iron on.

Wish I'd thought of hosting a chatshow where the guests write their own questions, it'd be a doddle.

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