Saturday, April 21, 2007

Britney Spears prays for pop, prepares new pop

We suspect that during the last week or so, Britney has finally crossed the river Styx to the permanent zone of dumperdom. We're not quite able to put our finger on it, but the last burst of public stupidity has squeezed the final piece of hope that she might pull herself back to a point where she could knock out a classic pop album. Yes, there will be more records - Brian Friedman is sure of that - but the context they're going to be made in is going to be so bitter and screwed, there's no way they're going to be any good, is there?

Brian Friedman, apparently, is a big chum of Britney and is so knowledgeable about things he's one of the judges on that ITV thing to find people to be in Grease. Yes, that knowledgeable. He says it's all going to be fabulous:

"Every decision she's made in the past month has been positive," says Brian, who was with her last week as she recorded tracks for her next album.

"I'm not just talking about going to rehab. More than that. Her life is going in a very positive direction."

"I've worked with her over the last couple of months in the studio on stuff with new music," Brian confides. "It's all very top secret. Will her new image involve her showing off her shaved head? We'll see. It's definitely going to be a change."

Right, so you're suggesting that the most interesting thing about her comeback will be if she's had her hair grow back or not.

You know what, Brian, I know what Britney's new album is going to be called, and what it sounds like, and who is on it. But I can't tell you, because it's top secret. Oh, actually, no I don't, I was just using 'top secret' as a cover up for "I haven't got a fucking clue about it, but I don't want to admit that."

Elsewhere, Britney has reacted badly to her father Jamie apologising on her behalf. Jamie had said sorry to Larry Rudolph after his daughter's dumping of him:
"When Larry Rudolph talked Britney into going into rehab, he was doing what her mother, father and team of professionals with over 100 years of experience knew needed to be done. She was out of control.

"Larry was the one chosen by the team to roll up his sleeves and deliver the message, to help save her life.

"The Spears family would like to publicly apologise to Larry for our daughter's statements about him over the past few weeks.

"Unfortunately, she blames him and her family for where she is at today with her kids and career.

"Larry has always been there for Britney. For this, we will forever be grateful to him."

Of course, the best thing to say at times like this is nothing. Britney, instead, got her spokesperson to stick out a statement - which is probably better than getting pissed and ranting at any passer-by with a video camera and a YouTube account:
"I am praying for my father. We have never had a good relationship.

"It's sad that all the men that have been in my life do not know how to accept a real woman's love. I am concentrating on my work and my life right now."

All the men in your life? Are you saying Justin Timberlake doesn't know how to do it with a lady?

Sorry, that might be a slightly trivial interpretation of her statement, but it's not like its going to do any good trying to elevate the discourse, is it?

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