Britney's "lesbian trial"

Today's News of the World has a curious, old-fashioned feel to it - they're even, god help us, running a sexy air hostess story of the type that looked tired in the 1970s. Their big splash, though is

Britney's Lesbian Sex Trial

.
This, sadly, doesn't turn out to be a fourteen day test drive programme; and, indeed, isn't really a lesbian sex trail at all. It's merely that, in his bid to get custody of the "raising Britney's kids" reality TV show, Kevin Federline is going to parade a stream of witnesses testifying to Spears' "unsuitable" lifestyle. And one of these claims will be

from a stunning dancer who shared a lesbian romp with the singer.

We really hope that Federline isn't going to stand up in a courtroom and suggest that homosexuality is, of itself, a sign of corrupt morals.
Meanwhile, the NOTW reveals Brit's "new image" - they say it's Mummsy, but to us it looks disturbingly like she's based it on Jimmy Hill.