Kerrang Awards: You've all done very well

Last night, at a venue that clearly couldn't be too fussy about dress code, the Kerrang Awards 2008 were given out.

So, who won what?

Best International Newcomer: Black Tide
Best British Newcomer: Slaves To Gravity

The future is looking rubbish, then.

Kerrang Icon Award: Trivium

Icon? Icon?

Best Video: Coheed And Cambria - Feathers

This is, perhaps, the most obscure collection of awards handed out this year. This is what happens when your readership retreats to its hardcore...

Best Single: 30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill

... well, up until a point

Best Album: Avenged Sevenfold - Avenged Sevenfold

They picked up this award from Cristina Scabbia, which is a bit like asking Michael Phelps to give out a ten metres swimming certificate.

Best Live Band: Machine Head

Enter Shikari won this last year. Much good it did them.

Classic Songwriter: Def Leppard

Ah, yes: "I suppose a rock's out the question". It's not a Kerrang award they should be getting, surely that sort of songwriter deserves the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square?

Spirit Of Independence: Dillinger Escape Plan

We have no idea what this award is meant to be rewarding them for. Is it that they paid for their own tickets?

Best British Band: Bullet For My Valentine

You can tell they're classy, as Jo Whiley voiceovers their ads.

Best International Band: 30 Seconds To Mars

That'll show EMI...

Hall of Fame: Rage Against The Machine

Happily being inducted into an award promoted by an international media conglomerate...

Inspiration: Metallica

Well, yes: they certainly inspired the RIAA a hell of a lot...