Who wrote Madonna's books?

Quentin Blake, a man who knows a thing or two about children's books, smells a rat when he reads Madonna's cult-metaphor kiddie tales:

"I know that Madonna has written a few, and I read some of them, but the trouble is I don't really detect an authentic voice behind them."

Blake, who offered his barbed remarks to the Daily Telegraph at an exhibition of self-portraits - What Are You Like? - at the Dulwich Picture Gallery in London, said he believed that publishers "just want to use the name" of famous personalities and don't care what they write.

It's time Madonna realised she was taking bread from the mouths of genuine children's authors. Like that Geri Halliwell.