Monday, November 24, 2008

This sort of thing doesn't, actually, help any one

You'll recall Victoria Aitken, daughter of Tory MP and court-facing liar Jonathan Aitken. She somehow managed to sign a statement presented in evidence to the court during his libel trial against the Guardian which turned out to have been written by her father. Obviously having had a run-in with the law, it was natural that Aitken junior would turn to hip-hop to express herself.

And so, perhaps inevitably, it comes to this: Aitken delivering a rap about the credit crunch and how beastly and frightful it all is:

"Living off Daddy's plastic was so fantastic
Just got a j-o-b, what a misery
I just want to break free
This ain't no life for me
Vicky from the yacht, she's lost all her rocks
Vicky from the yacht, she's got holes in her socks
But take it from me, the best things in life are free."

You know, looked at from this angle, a 45p tax rate for the top earners doesn't seem to have enough punitivity attached to it.

Vicky is keen for everyone to enjoy the song, though:
"It seemed the perfect time to release this track, as everyone is suffering from economic problems due to the worldwide market crash, so hopefully it's a song anyone can relate to. I've got friends who have lost everything in this crash, and who are having to sell their homes, so they need cheering up."

Yes, what could be more cheering if your life has crumbled in front of your eyes than seeing Victoria Aitken pretending that she's had to get a job. If your friends really had lost everything, wouldn't you perhaps think twice before releasing a song that made it all sound so jolly?

"Hello, Terry - sorry to hear your job with the merchant bank has gone, but guess what? The best things in life are free!"

Oh, yes, that would put a spring back in your step.

And, as thousands shuffle to the dole office, they might find it hard to feel that some rich kid having to get a job they don't even want just as their employment vanishes because one of Vicky's chums bet the mortgage book on some trailer-covered swamp land is a cause for very much mirth.

She's right, though: the best things in life are free. Jonathan Aitken certainly enjoyed his weekend in the Paris Ritz.

This isn't Victoria Aitken's first terrible attempt to kick start a musical career: She's been at it since 2003, when she told a suprisingly credulous Independent:
"A lot of rappers sing about the Cristal and the Jacuzzis and the fast cars," she says. "I'm like, OK, that's very cool, but they have no concept of champagne and fast cars coming from that background. I've had all the Cristal. I'm more philosophical."

It's surprising that such an attitude didn't immediately see her being taken to the heart of the urban music community, isn't it?