The X Factor: A Warning From History

Little Mix, who apparently won The X Factor last week, and Marcus Collins, who didn't, have been sent a warning letter from Joe McElderry:

"You'll find it isn't really about coming first or second. I don't believe, Marcus, that you will have more creative control than Little Mix because you came second," he wrote. "It's up to you all to take it to the next level. There's no rule book for popstars. Everyone does it differently. X Factor is an amazing platform.

"You are in control of your own destiny. I know people think Simon Cowell is in control, and yes, sometimes you have to follow what the record company says, but Simon likes people who can stand up to him, who say: 'I don't want to do this', or, 'I like that song'."

On Cowell, McElderry continued: "He's a very busy man and spends a lot of time in America, so most of the time we'd chat on the phone, but now and again I'd go into the office and he'd be there and we'd chat about songs. I'd say: 'I'm not keen on this one and I really like that'.

"He'd say: 'Can you try this?' It's about building a working relationship, not who controls who."

All good advice. Slightly weakened by it having been scribbled between shifts on the back of a McDonalds tray liner.

The recipients got it, shrugged, and asked "who the hell is Joe McElderly? Never heard of him."