Gordon in the morning: [Insert chat here]

It's one of those mornings where Gordon Smart has a straight-up great story that almost justifies the existence of the column. Tulisa has to be prompted when to be warm to her audience:

The former X Factor judge has to be prompted when to talk to punters at her gigs.

A copy of her set list orders her to “chat over music” before delivering an N-DUBZ medley.

And after a few more tracks the document tells her to “chat” – and plug her single during the natter.

Let's hope they've written "wave and leave stage" at the end, otherwise everyone's just going to be hanging around awkwardly wondering what to do next.