Gordon in the morning: The wedding planner

Oh no, Gordon has been up all night fretting over a potential clash of wedding dates:

Brad got a wedding licence at the end of last month — which stated they must marry in 90 days.

The deadline could see the big day for the pair clash with the nuptials of Brad’s ex JENNIFER ANISTON — which would spark a bitter bun-fight over celeb guests.

oh no that would be terrible i can barely stand it oh whatever shall we all do

Hang on a moment, though: Aniston hasn't announced a wedding date; not even a "source close to the couple" has leaked one. I don't think the National Enquirer has even bothered to make up a date yet. So, presumably, Aniston could just choose a date that doesn't clash.

The element of non-existent jeopardy gets even smaller the more you read the story:

A source said: “Brad and Angelina left themselves short of time to sort out their wedding because of the licence deadline. A few months is nothing when you’re planning a wedding — especially one as major as theirs."

This assumes that they didn't start doing any planning prior to applying for the licence. Most people would work out most of the detail before heading off for the vital piece of paper, because - I don't know if you spotted this, Gordon - they're only valid for ninety days. (That's a quarter of a year, by the way .)

And given that Brad and Angelina aren't exactly on their last few quid, I suspect if they don't get married in the window currently afforded them by the licence they won't consider it too onerous to, you know, pay for another one. It's not like if you don't use the licence that's it.