Monday, December 02, 2013

Robbie Williams: I am the 49%

And while we're going through the pile marked "people saying stupid things about homosexuality", it would be wrong to let any more time slide by without recording Robbie Williams' contribution to sexuality studies:

In an interview with the Daily Star, he said: "I love musical theatre and a lot of the other things that are often associated with gays. I am 49% homosexual and sometimes as far as 50%.
I know what you're wondering: How come Williams doesn't score any higher?
However, that would imply that I enjoy having a particular sort of fun, which I don't.
I believe some straight people have expressed surprise at this discovery that the final exam before you get your gay certification works like this, but it's true. Growing up, we've all, surely, had to comfort someone who had put in the hours rimming, cruising, fisting and bitching but failed to get a pass mark because they did poorly on the Rogers And Hammerstein paper. "Sorry, Tom, you know the rules - you might have aced the practical, but if you can't remember the order of the Favourite Things, you're not gay-worthy."

Robbie: Being gay isn't about "liking musical theatre". God only knows what you've got on your list of of "other things associated with the gays" are, but I don't think it matters. Like rimming, cruising, fisting and bitching, those activities like musical theatre and those other things in your mind? They're things that some gay people might do - equally, they're things that some straight people do. Bisexuals do them, too. And pansexuals. But they don't define your sexual orientation.