Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Worried people worry about Bieber; discretely point to price list

Oh, won't someone think of the children? After Justin Bieber, the singer based on the popular range of Justin Bieber dolls, stuck a photo of himself having a ciggie on the internet, a company has issued a press release:

Troubled Pop Star Justin Bieber Irresponsibly Glamorizes Smoking
It's an odd press release, though. It's come from a company which helps separate people from both their cigarettes and money, which might explain why a large chunk of it at the start sounds like it's coming from FOREST, the pro-lung cancer pressure group:
Canadian pop musician and singer-songwriter Justin Bieber seems to idolizes James Dean's living life in the fast lane persona. Bieber is seen sitting against a brick wall wearing a white t-shirt rolled up to reveal his tattoo sleeves, as an unlit cigarette dangles from his lips. On March 20th, Us Weekly reported, Justin uploaded the rebellious smoking picture to his Instagram page of 14.8 million followers with a caption saying, "Don't ask me if I smoke ciggys cuz I don't."
Sounds kinda sexy, right - obviously if you ignore that it's Justin Bieber.

It's almost as if the anti-smoking therapy group is trying to ensure everyone sees the images of Bieber, albeit with a sorrowful shake of the head further down the press release. It couldn't be that - while not wanting people to take up a life of furtively sucking on Capstan full strength in a windswept shelter round by the delivery hatch - they're aware that if Justin did encourage a few kids to try it, that could well provide business for them in the future.

Obviously, that would be a cynical reading of the press release. And whoever looked for cynicism in a press release?