The return of Alanis

Oh, sure, The Trip To Italy might have helped Alanis' Jagged Little Pill back into the album chart.

But let's not overlook the other cultural event which threw attention back on that album...

Who really controls the hit parade - Rob Brydon or Victoria Coren Mitchell? I think we all know the answer.

Alanis Morissette sued; 'How soon can I use the word?'

So, Alanis Morissette is being sued by her ex-nanny. It's a news story, it features Alanis Morissette. So, around the newsrooms of the world, Clippy from Microsoft Word pops up saying "it looks like you might want to shoe-horn in the word 'Ironic' here, regardless of how inappropriate it might be".

Can anyone resist?
The Province can't wait, kicking off the headline with the words:

Isn't it ironic? Alanis Morissette's nanny claims in lawsuit she was given no breaks, no overtime pay

In a bout of metairony, The Province's slogan is "It starts here". But even so, you'd have hoped they'd have managed to make it through to the lede before blowing their "ironic" gag.

Does someone want to see if they can hold it in a little longer?

The Vancouver Sun is next up, and manages to make it to paragraph two before deploying:

The former nanny of Canadian pop star Alanis Morissette is suing the singer claiming she wasn’t paid overtime or given breaks.

The legal documents — obtained by RadarOnline.com — are ironic because Morissette, 39, presents herself an earth mother with with a strong social conscience.

The inability to restrain itself from throwing 'ironic' into the pot is almost offset by the attempt to justify the word the ironic being there, but... well, when you're trying to describe the serving of legal papers as "ironic", you're on awkward ground. (Both the Province and the Sun seem to be working from the same basic source material, by the way, so it looks like The Prov took the decision to up the irony quota.)

Time for the Daily Mail to have a go.

Alanis Morissette's former night nanny sues singer for $130,000 as she claims she was denied meal breaks

Good start.

Alanis Morissette has been sued by a former nanny who claims she was not paid overtime and forced to work 12-hour overnight shifts without breaks.

The lawsuit was filed by former nanny Bianca Cambeiro on Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court and seeks $30,000 in unpaid wages and $100,000 in damages.

Cambeiro was the night nurse for 39-year-old Alanis and her husband Mario Treadway and worked three to four days a week from 9pm to 9am, according to the lawsuit.

You're doing it, Mail.

Cambeiro said she was paid $25 an hour and was seeking $30,000 in unpaid wages.
She also was seeking $100,000 in damages claiming she suffered emotional distress.
Messages sent to Morrissette's representatives seeking comment were not immediately returned.

Well done, Mail. You made it through without falling into the trap. Let's just hope that your commenters don't turn up and spoil everything.

crosis, Widnes, United Kingdom, 9 hours ago
Isn¿t it Ironic? Actually no - just like in your song it is a series of avoidable events that make no sense whatsoever.

So, let's get this straight, crosis. You know there's nothing ironic in the story, but decided to post anyway to stress that there was nothing ironic going on.

Still, kudos to the Mail for holding out even if its readers couldn't cope.

The thing is, though, there is an appropriate Morissette track to use to rustle up a headline here. Rader, show 'em how it's done:

She Oughta Know…Better! Alanis Morissette Sued By Former Nanny For $100K

Thank you. We'd also have accepted something based on 'bitter little pill'

Alanis Morissette isn't that ironic

The Guardian asks Alanis Morissette how she feels being at the heart of comedy 'some of the things in Ironic aren't actually irony' trope:

I wouldn't say [I'm] bored, I would say interested because I love to get to the underbelly of why things bug people so much. People must be very at odds with the idea of being profoundly stupid. I mean, malapropisms; big fucking deal. It's kind of like in traffic when you're yelling at someone for cutting you off and you're cutting someone off too.

Hang about, Alanis, that sounds like one of those things in the song that you describe as ironic but isn't... I fear you might be making the world collapse in on itself.

Alanis Morissette: Doobie doobie doo

Alanis Morissette uses cannabis to inspire her writing:

"As an artist, there's a sweet jump-starting quality to [marijuana] for me. I've often felt telepathic and receptive to inexplicable messages my whole life. I can stave those off when I'm not high. When I'm high -- well, they come in and there's less of a veil, so to speak. So if ever I need some clarity ... or a quantum leap in terms of writing something, it's a quick way for me to get to it."

Having been told that without cannabis, Alanis Morissette might never make another album, David Nutt said "actually, maybe Gordon Brown has a point. Perhaps we should stamp it out..."

Isn't it ironic. Oh, no it isn't, is it?

We're a little disappointed to hear that Alanis Morissette and her fiancé Ryan Reynolds have disfianced and will now not take their four year engagement forward into a marriage. Mainly because we were going to go to the gift registry, choose the set of kitchen knives, and give the happy couple ten thousand spoons instead.

There's a statement, of course:

"Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette have mutually decided to end their engagement.

"They remain close friends and continue to have the utmost love and admiration for each other.

"They ask that their privacy be respected surrounding this personal matter."

The question is if they wanted to keep it private, why did they release a public statement? And if they have the "utmost love", then... erm, why isn't that enough to get married?

Tragedy's song is seldom worth the effort

A British man has been cleared of killing his fiancee - they'd been arguing over Alanis's Ironic; she tried to hit him with a "cobra shaped dooorstop" and he wound up strangling her. Now, isn't that ironic - don't you think?

The CD of my enemy has been remaindered

In a week when the Rocking Vicar discovers the Oasis mountain, No Rock was wandering round Poundland and came across a whole rack of Alanis Morrisette CD singles, desperately on offer for a quid. It's not ironic in any way, but doubtless she'd think it was.

If the original album was 'Under Rug Swept'

...then what do you call an album of stuff that was too bad to even sweep under the carpet? Alanis suggests Feast of scraps. We'd suggest Will This Do?