Jarvis Cocker: Made of cake

Sheffield pop star Jarvis becomes one of the cake people

Sorry... what did you just say, Sheffield Star?

Bespectacled Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker, along with Louis Tomlinson from One Direction, have both had their likenesses moulded out of cake, complete with edible painted icing.

This is to celebrate Yorkshire Day. And to be fair, the one on the right is meant to be Judi Dench and not Louis Tomlinson.

Debbie Harry: A piece of cake

Admittedly, turning yourself into a cake effigy isn't everyday behaviour, but the NME's headline on the Debbie Harry story misses the point a bit:

Blondie's Debbie Harry butchers nude model of herself onstage

Or 'slices a cake onstage', if you want to be less extreme about it.

The NME admits it's just copied the story direct from the Daily Mail, but - not for the first time - you wonder if the point of being the NME should be not simply nodding along with everything it reads on the internet:

An inside source, meanwhile, described the performance as "controversial and unnecessary" before going on to add: "This is appalling for women all over the world who suffer domestic violence."

The Mail actually doesn't even pretend this is a "source", simply ascribing the quote to an "insider".

An insider of what? You wouldn't expect the Mail to bother with the question, but surely the NME might show a bit of curiosity about the quote it's typing out. Especially since it's potentially the sort of issue the NME used to care about - is it okay for a woman to cut up a cake of herself on stage? Or does it really represent (as the Mail suggests the audience claimed) violence against women?

Darkness at 3AM: I'll have cake

The 3AM Girls struggle with the concept of news:

At Dannii Minogue's recent house party was a giant stack of brightly coloured cupcakes.

But wait - there's more.

We're told all the guests, including big sis Kylie, were getting stuck in.

Person has cake at party - cakes eaten. Seriously, there's going to be firings at the FT that they missed breaking this story.

I know what you're thinking, though - the Daily Mirror wouldn't publish a story like this, not really, unless there was a real news angle. And, indeed, there is:

"They got icing all over their faces."

The 3AM Girls can't even be arsed to throw a "said a pal", or an "according to a shocked onlooker..." here. At the moment, it's unclear if the guests required hospitalisation for this face-covering of sugar, or if they merely wiped their chops with a napkin. We're waiting for CNN on this.

Naturally, though, you turn to the Mirror not just for this quality of reporting, but also the searing insight that the paper's commentary team can provide. The 3AM Girls don't let us down:

Sounds like our kind of party.

Really? The 3AM column's idea of a great party is mildly messy cake eating? We hear there's a kid called Charlie Spaniels who's having a party in McDonalds in Daventry today - you should get yourself there, 3AM. Not just cake - we're given to understand there was ice cream being spoken about as a serious possibility, too.

Let's get lost: Chris Mills almost plays Manchester Psychogeography fest

Or the Second Accidental International Festival of Psychogeography, to give it the full name. Mills is playing a not-quite festival launch:

I'm delighted to present a really special gig as a pre-festival un psychogeographic but very splendid treat. NYCs finest Chris Mills plays the Britons Protection this Friday, 23rd May, 8pm. Support comes from the wonderful Liam Dullegan and Case Hardin... that's three top notch artists for just £5 AND there will of course be cake.

There aren't enough events which feature cake these day, although, frankly, you shouldn't need to be bribed with cake when then there's a Chris Mills gig on offer, either.

More on the festival itself at their website.