The only living boys in New Cross

Last night's Property Ladder featured all manner of ill-advised ideas - garages too small for cars, baths with pulsing colours built into the sides, kitchens with no doors and pokey hallways instead of open rooms. None of these ill-advised ideas, though, can hold a torch to Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine reforming.

The image we're having is men in their early forties chanting "you fat bastard" over and over, all the while pulling in their own middle-aged stomachs.