Shocking news from East Grinstead

Oh no!

Yes, there are "For Sale" signs outside Peter Andre's house, and East Grinstead is in pre-emptive mourning:

The news will undoubtedly come as a shock to the pop star's legion of fans who had grown used to spotting him in and around the town.

Strictly speaking, Andre lives in Dormansland, which isn't even in the same county. But given that he's not bothered the Top Ten since 2009, Andre's not really a pop star, either.

Peter Andre, wash your hands

Remember Peter Andre's cafe that he opened up in East Ginstead a while back? It's had a pretty unimpressed reaction from Mid Sussex District Council who came to see how clean it was. The East Grinstead Courier and Observer reports:

Danny Andre – Peter's brother – said everything is now up to scratch.

"Everything is spotless in there," he told the Courier & Observer.

"It always has been. It was just a couple of things, that got rectified the same afternoon."

Hmmm. The coffee shop scored just one star out of a possible five - which under the rules means "major improvement necessary" - hardly the sort of thing you could "rectify" the same afternoon.

Andre's puppetmasters didn't seem to have got the 'pretend it's a couple of things' memo:

Gemma Wheatley, from Peter Andre's management company, said: "It was nothing to do with any problems with dirtiness or cleanliness, it was purely mechanical.

"They asked us to put cladding around the back of the tiles and the sink was in the wrong place."

Is moving a sink something you can rectify in an afternoon?

Anyway, everyone's certain that the next time round they'll get a four or a five.