Kano bids to be the new Grange Hill Kids

It must have seemed a brilliant idea when it was first floated - "why don't we get one of these rappy chaps to do a pop music video to promote diplomas?" - but it's impossible to hear about Kano doing a spot for the Education Department without the need for five minutes work to uncurl your toes.

Mind you, I suspect the Telegraph might have taken a bit of licence here:

Ed Balls, the Education Secretary, has hired the British rapper Kano to promote the diploma, the Government's alternative to GCSEs and A-levels.

"Hello? Is that Mr. Kano? It's Ed here. Ed Balls. No... no this is not a prank phone-call, why would you think that? Yes, Balls. No, no, not head, it's Ed. Ed Balls... hello? Hello?"

Ed Balls hails The Spice Girls as the way ahead

Casting around for an example of great female role models, Ed Balls realises that Gordon Brown's cabinet offers not very much, so settles on The Spice Girls. Oh, and Thatcher.

We're not sure if we'd rather have our daughter turn out like Thatcher or Geri Halliwell. We really wouldn't want to have to make that choice.