Darkness at 3AM: Knives and drugs

We're puzzled - when 3AM first reported the meeting between Noel Gallagher and Jeff Conaway, it was clearly just a little bit of backstage mucking about.

Today, though, it's been upgraded to "the showbiz fight of the year". Oh, and it's over:

Trying to stir up more trouble, Russell Brand invited Noel on his radio show and surprised him with a phone call to Kenickie.

But Jeff told Noel: "You need protection growing up in New York.

You need some kind of weapon. There are very dangerous characters on the subway."

Well, yes, there are dangerous characters on the subway - mostly broken down ex-actors waving knives around.

We love that the Mirror team are running this story on Wednesday - doesn't Russell Brand's show go out on Saturdays?

Meanwhile, Bryan Adams has written a song for Amy Winehouse. Apparently:

With lyrics such as, "Amid the stars and the bars, the pimps and pills" and "the picture faded and the day was done, went home to nothin' but a loaded gun," it's clear Bryan, 48, fears for Amy.

Or, possibly, for Phil Spector.

Noel Gallagher threatened by Kenickie

3AM actually has a decent story this morning, as Noel Gallagher reveals Kenickie waved a knife at him.

Not the band, sadly. Jeff Conaway. Noel recalls:

"Kenickie shouted, 'I've had four back operations, you know.' "So I said, 'So get yourself out of that wheelchair then!' "He said, 'I've had four operations but I can still pull a knife on you.' And he pulled out a big blade.

We thought: 'You're going down, Kenickie.'"

Ah, yes. That would be Noel telling a chronic alcoholic to get out of his wheelchair. Perhaps he thinks he's got healing powers... like god... glowing god... going... going