Limp Bizkit: 'Highway' loses out, 'my way' seems to be staying at home

Limp Bizkit have pulled their summer tour. I know, I know, you'll all be heartbroken. Fred Durst explained the reasons on Twitlonger:

Basically, Limp is not an ampitheatre band. We like to see less seats in front of the stage and more floor filled w fans going bananas. It's just more fun for all of us that way. Some bands are meant to be seen mainly sitting down, but definitely NOT Limp Bizkit. We want to give you the best experience possible so we will reroute to the venues we feel will work the best. High energy , good times. We want you to have the best.

Now, we could be generous and assume that Limp Bizkit thought "let's give back all the money people have been spending on tickets for gigs this summer in massive venues, and book into smaller venues in the Autumn for a better experience."

But it really does look more like pisspoor ticket sales forcing a humiliating paring back of venue size. I'm expecting Tweets in August going "you know what? Limp are a bar band. And out fans appreciate some other act coming on after we've played to do a set..."

U2 play a stadium tour

Of course they bloody are.

Gordon in the morning: The ceaseless Gallaghers

Gordon, of course, views it as a treat; saner minds see it as a threat: Oasis. Live. Forever. Or not quite forever, but eighteen months:

The lads are due to announce their plans in the next few weeks — and the tour will be their boldest yet.

The band, who had a 1994 hit with Live Forever, will start their dates in the UK this autumn, head off for more gigs, then return more than 12 months later to wrap things up at home.

Gordon has this from a "source", of course:

"It is on the kind of scale you would expect from THE ROLLING STONES."

Why, yes indeed, it is. The Rolling Stones is the very band which springs to mind.

The source continues:

"The fellas who have hatched the plan are very proud and excited."

We're sure they're excited - all that money, all those zeroes - but "proud"? At coming up with the idea of slogging round stadiums for months, something the source admits the Stones were doing two decades ago? Camp Oasis taking pride at an idea they've ripped off a rock dinosaur act? Hard to imagine, isn't it?

Go and see REM (take binoculars)

REM have announced a bunch of stadium dates this Summer. Here's where the sharp-eyed might be able to make out Michael Stipe jumping up and down:

August 24 - Lancashire County Cricket Club, Manchester
25 - Millennium Stadium, Cardiff
27 - Rosebowl, Southampton
30 - Twickenham, Twickenham

Please try and act surprised when they add an extra date in London, okay? Tickets go on sale to the general public on Friday this week, and then through eBay about twelve seconds later. The cost? £45 before booking fees. Loyal to the Bank of America indeed.

Kaisers eye Wembley

Talking of people seriously overestimating their pulling-power, it turns out that the Kaiser Chiefs are hoping for a little of that Muse action:

"Their shows are spectacular and their reputation has grown and grown," Nick [Baines] told the Daily Star. "They've sneaked up and become a stadium band. We've seen that if you've got the guts to book stadiums, people will buy the tickets.

"Muse aren't as dynamic as us - and we have more banter. People talk about Muse in the same way as U2 or the Rolling Stones - and that's what we want."

We're not sure if they're really hoping to be be spoken of as Muse are - a band who've managed to control their rise to larger venues without, yet, pandering to the perceived needs of a wider audience - or, as would seem to be more likely - U2 and the Stones, bands who play large venues because it allows them to disguise a long-dead spark with massive screens and a huge merchadinsing stall.