Must we fling this filth at our non-black metaller kids?

Poor old Emil Koverot. The guitarist with black metal band Bloodsrit had been offered a teaching job at his local school in Västervik, Sweden, only to find that he got sacked before he started as the school suddenly decided that his musical career might be incompatible with the whole shaping-young-minds-thing.

Koverot has done what any self-respecting metaller would do: He's resorted to sacrifice and slaughter to avenge the dishonour. Or, rather, he might, if his appeal to the local ombudsman fails.

He sees himself as the latest in a long line of musicians kept down by The Man:

“It’s the same old stereotypes,” he said.

“It’s the same way people reacted to the Beatles in the 1960s.”

Although, to be fair, most people rushed out and bought Beatles records in large numbers and - as far as we know - the suitability of Ringo taking a role as a classroom helper in Knotty Ash never came up, so we can't be sure.

Also, it's not quite the same thing anyway, is it? The Beatles had songs about love and hand-holding, whereas a typical Bloodsrit lyric runs more like this:

I drag the worthless priest ashore
He screams endlessly in naked fear
I am an eternal veil of evil torture
And I take pleasure in his agony

He is being crucified upon a cross
And boiling blood is poured upon him
His face explodes in bursting heat
As I whip his soul a thousand times

Apart from anything, could you have a person teaching who thinks there's any way you can be crucified other than on a cross?

Potty-mouthed Amstell turning kids into foul-mouthed rudesters

Why are kids today so bloody rude? You might think of putting the blame on the people who are paid money to teach them, but teachers have decided that they don't fancy carrying the can for this one. Instead, they put the blame on, erm, Never Mind The Buzzcocks:

Pupils are increasingly using sexist and offensive language, making comments about classmates' sizes or the perceived sexuality of a teacher, Steve Sinnott, general secretary of the National Union of Teachers, told the union's annual conference in Manchester yesterday.

He said that quiz shows such as Never Mind the Buzzcocks and They Think It's All Over fuelled the casual use of bad language. "Programme makers and celebrities need to reflect on what's taking place," he said. "Too much cruel behaviour can be seen on television programmes."

Well, perhaps.

Although singling out Buzzcocks rather than, say, Heat magazine or the Daily Mail seems a little strange.

Although you might wonder if - since Buzzcocks sits on the watershed-side of the schedule - the problem is less about what is happening on television programmes aimed at adults, and more at why parents are allowing their kids to watch such programmes. And if older children are watching the shows, then surely by then they should be able to understand the rules whereby 'real life' isn't like 'a game show presented by Simon Amstell' - and if they can't... well, that would be back to the people who should be teaching them the skills to tell the difference, wouldn't it?