Gordon in the morning: Victoria Hart returns

Remember Victoria Hart? She was the subject of an unlikely PR blitz a couple of years back - the waitress who played for George Clooney and somehow landed a multimillion deal, all at the same time.

The reappearance of her in Bizarre this morning still bills her as the Waitress who sang for Hollywood, which - you'll be ahead of us here - suggests her story's ending is not entirely a happy one.

Elsewhere, Mika has taken to wearing an eyepatch after a mosquito bit his eye. No word on how the mosquito is doing.

And here's an example of how the record labels invest their money

One and a half million pounds chucked into the bucket to sign up Victoria Hart, then, most of which has presumably already been pissed away on the marketing stunt of getting her to sing at some Cannes party or other. By a really strange coincidence, though, Hart doesn't sign her contract until today and yet, erm, there's a single ready to release. At least the PR company haven't totally insulted our intelligence by pretending that George Clooney found her humming in a kitchen and asked her to sing at the party, but it's hoping that nobody thinks to closely about how an "unsigned" singer turns up in a eight hundred quid dress to sing for the Hollywoodite massive.