Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Gordon in the morning: Stone me

Gordon Smart - and, to be fair, The Times both claim that Joss Stone has been asked to record the theme song for Barack Obama's campaign - although, curiously, the story doesn't appear in any American media.

The Times, at least, manages to keep fairly sober in its report, but Gordon gets a bit over-excited:

Democrat candidate Mr Obama approached her personally because he was impressed by her appeal to both black and white voters in America.

Really? He approached her personally, did he?
Joss is a household name in the US, where she spends up to nine months a year.

A household name? Really, Gordon? Do we need to go through the difference between "a household name" and "slightly well known" again?

It might sound ludicrous, but as Gordon points out, Stone has done endorsements before:
Earlier this year Cadbury chose her to front new adverts for Flake chocolate bars.

And what a great job she did with those toe-curling adverts, huh.

What really makes Stone an unlikely choice is the way that Obama gets constantly beaten-up on the un-American/ un-Patriotic excuse. If he orders a salad with French dressing, the right-wing blogs report it as a slight to Lady Liberty. Is he really going to lead out his campaign under a track which draws the "he can't even find an American to sing a song for him" jibes?

Meanwhile, Smart is still trying to construct a Lily Allen - Katy Perry battle from the thinnest of material:
But Lily has now postponed new album Stuck On The Naughty Step until next year in what is shaping up to be the best chart battle straddling the pond for years.

Although if Allen has rescheduled her album release, then it's not much of a battle, is it? I never read Hotspur much when I was a kid, but the few times I did, I remember the story where the German soldiers turned up for the battle six months after the British troops had gone home were always heartwarming from a humanitarian point of view, but somewhat lacking as a battle narrative.

Anyway, today's attempt to try and stoke a fire is the surprise that:
I can tell you Katy’s boyfriend TRAVIS McCOY, from emo band GYM CLASS HEROES, had a thing for Lily before he met the US pop sensation.

Oh yes?
When asked last year if he had any celeb crushes, he confessed: “Lily Allen. I met her before very briefly. She’s cute. Yeah. . . I’d like to see her again.”

The key words here, of course, is "last year" - before he was dating Katy, in other words. Not that stops Gordon extrapolating:
Oh dear.

Oh dear?
That’s the kind of historical comment that is perfect ammunition for a girlfriend.

That rather presupposes that she would be looking for ammunition.
I feel for Travis the next time he doesn’t pick up a wet towel after having a shower.

The old “I bet you wouldn’t do that if you were with Lily” trump card will be reeled out again and again.

Yes. Assuming, of course, Perry spends her days Googling to find throwaway comments to goad her boyfriend with. I can't escape the feeling that this might tell us nothing about life in the Perry-McCoy household, and more about someone else's day-to-day life.

I bet you wouldn't leave wet towels all over the floor if you were with Liam...