The Stones distance themselves from Trump

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
You might just find
You've used something you had no right to in the first place

The Rolling Stones do not endorse Donald Trump. You Can't Always Get What You Want was used without the band's permission.

— The Rolling Stones (@RollingStones) July 22, 2016

Krist Novoselic has made his presidential choice

Krist Novoselic - very much the other one out of Nirvana - has decided he's going to through his weight behind the Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. The Libertarian party, of course, is very much the Kirst Novoselic of US parties.

Novoselic has also defended Citizens United, says Politico:

Novoselic then tweeted a link to a blog post written last Thursday in which he laid out his thoughts on the landmark 2010 Citizens United case and the history of campaign finance law in general.
"The best one can do to serve democracy is to understand and study issues," he wrote in the nearly 3,700-word treatise. "Don’t believe the hype about Citizens United. It was a good ruling that protected the right of people to hear information without the government picking and choosing who could speak."

It's not, but you can see why extremely rich people like to believe that.

It's not like anyone ever liked Staind, is it?

Aaron Lewis, who must take most of the blame for the work of Staind, has chosen his favourite from the US Presidential hopefuls. In his primary, he supported Ted Cruz, but does intend to throw his weight behind any blowhard if that's the way the pre-nuclear wind blows:

"Listen, I like the fact Donald Trump has come in and shaken things up and said a whole lot of things the establishment doesn't want to hear him say and the people did want to hear him say," Lewis said. "But at the same time, there's an expectation for somebody being presidential in nature, and he disappoints me with the bickering and the name-calling. It's just not very presidential behavior. But I would certainly vote for him if he becomes the candidate."

Lewis, then, loves the way the guy says what he thinks. Except it turns out he doesn't, because it's name-calling. He wants Trump to be presidential, but he doesn't want Trump to behave like he's part of the establishment.

Lewis doesn't really have a coherent position, and seems confused about what parts of the US political system he respects and what parts he doesn't.

No wonder he's endorsing Trump.

Tumblrgem: Chvrches

Chvrches on Donald Trump:

http://spiderliliez.tumblr.com/post/135452455686/not-that-team-the-other-team-lauren-mayberry

They're not wrong.

Huck off, then: Mick Hucknall is a rich person

I'm not sure there's anyone alive for whom 'Katie Hopkins doesn't support Labour' isn't enough to shift their votes, but just in case:

Mick Hucknall has disendorsed Labour.

Mick's superb grasp and understanding of the 2015 political scene is demonstrated by his belief that you can somehow vote "for the coalition".

Tories silent auction gives you chance to be Great Uncle Bulgaria

You might think that the story about the Tories raising money through a silent auction was a spoof when you got to the bit about rich Conservatives bidding on tickets to see the last of The Hunger Games movie. But it's genuine.

There's going to be a plutocrat trying to get their money back when they discover that The Hunger Games has such a sad ending.

With lots like the chance to eat an entire chicken with Michael Gove and Sarah Vine, the line-up of items suggests a confusion between 'silent auction' and 'unspeakable horror', but there were a surprising number of music-related chances to bid.

Perhaps most surprisingly, there was a photo of Suggs. The catalogue describes the photo:

Portrait photograph of Suggs from Madness.
This framed photographic print of Suggs from Madness is a true collector's item. The photographer Stephen Perry has been described as a true visionary and has taken portrait photographs of the stars since an early age. Stephen claimed that he chose to keep Suggs' sunglasses on as he was still a recognisable figure with them on, although it later emerged that he had been in the pub before the shoot and was slightly the worse for wear!

What larks.

I wonder if there's another story about Suggs being in a pub that might be relevant here? How about this one:

Suggs is keen to point out that Madness were always very political. “We were socialists, and still are, to a greater or lesser extent. Our first gig at the Hope and Anchor was the night Margaret Thatcher got voted in, God help us. All that ‘there’s no such thing as society’ and what they did to the unions… We were a little society of our own and tried to create a feeling of belonging. Our House becomes authentic, even though it’s an abstract. It’s the idea of family.

“We did Red Wedge [aimed at raising political awareness among young people] with Billy Bragg, The Specials, Jerry Dammers, Paul Weller, and we did loads of stuff for the miners, benefits for the strikers and families.”

Perhaps the Tories knew all this. Perhaps using Suggs to raise funds for the Campaign to Re-elect The Shiny Porkfaced Cameron is a joke.

Or perhaps they're just inept.

Another lot is to get Mike Batt to write a song, just for you. "It could be a comic song" suggests the catalogue.

But there's a warning:

Not to be used for commercial purposes

Really? You're putting a ban on a person using something they've bought for their own personal enrichment. You've changed, Conservatives. You used to support the free market. Who knew the invisible hand gets slapped back the minute it tries to caress Mike Batt's bottom line.

There's also tickets to see Fleetwood Mac in Leeds, which could be a tribute to that time Republicans bought tickets to a Mac gig and then sold them at a mark-up to fundraise.

It's possible the whole event was some sort of too-clever-by-half in-joke.

But then all the opportunities to shoot things to death... well, that looks deadly earnest.

Bez: Yougov had some time on its hands

With Bez (real name Bez Outofthehappymondays) planning a run for parliament in Salford, YouGov decided to ask people if they think he'd make a good MP.

It's not entirely clear why this was the criteria, as nobody ever votes for a glitzy celeb candidate on the basis of if they'd be any good at the job - otherwise Louise Mensch would not have become the ex-MP for Corby, never mind the actual MP for Corby.

Still, those were the criteria.

A new YouGov survey finds that, excluding those who don't know enough about Bez to say (43% of the total) or don't have an opinion (19%), 31% think he would make a good MP while 69% say he would make a bad one.

Bez might be worried by these figures, but there's an upside. Most people haven't got a clue who is or have an opinion about him; so the fact that those who do know him wouldn't let him within a country mile of the House of Commons isn't a major problem. There's a massive base of people who don't blink and say "what, the maracas guy?", which is room to build on.

And while barely half the world is aware of him or his work, that's not too bad: according to Pointless, nobody in the country remembers who George Osborne is, left to their own devices.

Pharrell Williams calls the next election

It's Hillary Clinton in 2016, according to Pharrell Williams:

Let me tell you why Hillary's going to win. Everywhere you go in this country, you have red and blue. You got the Democrats; you got the Republicans. You got the Bloods; you got the Crips. Everything is red and blue in this country. You know what else is red and blue? Blood. Blood is blue in your body until air hits it, and then it turns red. That means there's unity. There's gonna be unity. So when you think about a night where there's late-night talk-show hosts and it's mostly women, that's a different world. Right? A world where seventy-five percent of the prime ministers and the presidents were women: That's a different world. That's gonna happen, and it's gonna happen when Hillary wins. Because you know what? No matter how staunch of a supporter you are of no-abortion, whatever you are: You're a woman, and there's no way in the world you're going to vote for somebody that's going to try to tell you what to do with your body. When we are a country and we are a species that has had a martian Rover traveling up and down the crevices of this planet looking for water and ice, okay, and we've had a space station that's been orbiting our planet for sixteen years—but we still got legislation trying to tell women what to do with their bodies? Hillary's gonna win. Listen, I'm reaching out to her right now. She's gonna win.

Yes. That makes absolute sense - after all, what sort of woman would ever vote for a person who was going to reduce abortion access?

After all, if women were going to support the idea of harder, fewer, more difficult abortions, you'd see, I don't know, nuns or something picketing clinics, right? And that'd be a crazy thought.

In effect, Williams is suggesting that - when it comes to the ballot box - there's no way Michelle Bachmann would vote against Hillary Clinton.

It might be a very large hat, but he's still talking through it.

How is Julian Assange coping holed up in the embassy?

It depends, I guess, on whether you see "doing an Australian election video by dressing up as John Farnham" as coping or not, really:

Two parts "cry for help" to one part "too much time on your hands", I'd suggest.

Gordon in the morning:Obama pants

Obama's second term is down to Katy Perry, reports Gordon Smart:

KATY PERRY is taking credit for BARACK OBAMA’s election win after buying him a pair of lucky Y-fronts with his face on them.

Nothing would give you confidence like discovering your four years has seen you reduced to a novelty figure picking up skidmarks.

But tell me Gordon: is Katy really claiming her comedy knickers brought victory?

[A source said] “Katy’s been saying he won because of the lucky pants.”

So it was just a joke, as you, erm, recognise:

That sense of humour explains why her marriage to RUSSELL BRAND was so brief.

But, of course, if you admitted from the outset that you're writing about a weak gag... Why, there'd be no story at all...

Madonna/Romney crossover fans upset

Madonna endorsed Barack Obama from the stage last night. Oddly, it didn't go down well with the whole audience in New Orleans. The AP reports:

Madonna drew boos and triggered a walkout by several concertgoers after she touted President Barack Obama on her "MDNA Tour" in New Orleans.

Really? Walkouts? Now, American politics is a strange beast, but walking out upon hearing Madge endorse Obama suggests that your love of Romney is pretty deeply ingrained. To flounce away from an eye-wateringly expensive gig just because someone said 'vote Obama' implies that you bleed GOP.

Which obviously leads to a follow-on question: if you're that deeply committed to conservative values, what the hell are you doing at a Madonna gig in the first place?

It's like vegetarians flouncing out of a tour of Bernard Matthews factories when they're offered some Turkey Twizzlers to taste.

Still, faced with people booing and walking out, Madonna stuck to her guns, of course.

Drawing boos in touting Obama over Republican Mitt Romney, Madonna followed: "Seriously, I don't care who you vote for ... Do not take this privilege for granted. Go vote."

Of course she didn't.

Madonna endorses the Tea Party's version of Obama

You know what, Madonna? Your enthusiastic endorsement of Barack Obama for president during your DC gig might have been a bit more effective if you hadn't somehow given it in terms which endorsed a right-wing-nutsack view of American current affairs:

"Y'all better vote for f--king Obama, OK? For better or for worse, all right? We have a black Muslim in the White House. Now that's some amazing s--t," she said. "It means there is hope in this country. And Obama is fighting for gay rights, so support the man, goddamnit."

A black Muslim? Jesus, that's the sort of shit I expect from my in-laws, not from someone who supposedly supports the man.

What has she got planned for subsequent dates? "Get behind Obama, it's amazing that we have a Kenyan citizen running death panels as a prelude to a full communist takeover, right?"

Love Ain't Here Anymore: Whatever happened to Gary and Dave's big competiton?

Back in the days of the 2010 election campaign, Gary Barlow and David Cameron shared a stage in Nantwich to launch a major, eyecatching initiative. Political Scrapbook is wondering whatever happened to it?

It was to be the School Stars scheme, and the Tories press released the buttocks out of it:

"Nothing brings people together like music, said Cameron, speaking at a school in Nantwich. "With School Stars we’re going to see kids practising together in the corridors, forming bands, getting together in lunch-breaks to sing and dance."

The competition will use the inspirational power of music to reach as many pupils as possible with a format which will unearth talent, ability and excellence around the country.

The initiative is backed by Gary Barlow, one of the most successful British songwriters of all time as well as by commercial radio stations and major players in the music industry.

As Political Scrapbook point out, it's gone a bit quiet since then.

The assumption would be that the School Stars Scheme came to nothing, but that isn't true at all.

Dave got a photo-op with one of the-then most popular members of Take That in the run up to an election.

And Gary? Gary was rewarded for his work helping get Dave to Number 10 not just with an OBE, but also by being protected when his dodgy tax arrangements came to light.

Oh, yes, those kids who Dave was wanting to pump with self-belief might have got bugger all out of it, but that was never the point, was it?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Paul Ryan receives enthusiastic endorsement from the late 1990s

Remember Kid Rock? He was an answer - well, half an answer - on TV's Nick Knowles' Secret Fortune quiz last night, and to cap a magical weekend of being a cultural footnote, he's come out in support of Paul Ryan. Although, to be honest, when the pair appeared at a Michigan fundraiser, it sounded more like Ryan was endorsing Rock's run for office:

“We take pride in people’s success, we don’t resent people for being successful in this country,” Ryan said, referring to Kid Rock. “Look at this creator right here – the fruit of his labor coming from his mind, his talents. He took his path to find his happiness, and he is realizing his dreams and he is paving his way. Only in America can you do this. That is what this country is all about.”

Ah, yes. The dream of beating the crap out of someone outside a Waffle House. The dream of beating the crap out of Tommy Lee at the MTV Awards. The dream of beating the crap out of Jay Campos.

Ryan is, of course, an outspoken defender of the institution of marriage:

"Marriage is not simply a legal arrangement between individuals. The institution of marriage is an integral part of our civil society and its significance goes well beyond eligibility for benefits and similar considerations."

So how better to celebrate that than share the stage with someone primarily famous for making sex tapes and getting divorced from Pamela Anderson after five months, eh?

Santorum is our man, apparently

I'm something of a fan of terrible political tunes, and the more terrible both they and the subject are, the better.

Which is why it's a delight to discover this:


Believe it or not, this song is actually up for purchase on iTunes. The band are called First Love; the track is called Game On (Song For Rick Santorum) which would be enough on its own.

The guy batting at the bongo drums is clearly so far detached from reality he probably thinks he's on a Girls Gone Wild video, which gives him an excuse. The others seem to be deadly serious.

Let's take a look at their lyrics, shall we?

GAME ON! Join the Fight
We've finally got a Man who will Stand for what is Right

Do you see what they did there?

GAME ON! Victory's in Sight
We've got a Man who Understands that God Gave the Bill of Rights

Er... actually, I think you'll find people gave you the bill of rights; God was the Ten Commandments and the thing about not eating shellfish.

Come on, all join in the chorus:

Oh, there is Hope for our Nation again

Their capitalisation is really annoying, isn't it?

Maybe the First time Since we Had Ronald Reagan

I don't think anyone in the video is old enough to remember Reagan, but the implication from Republicans that both Bushes were hopeless is, at least, refreshing.

There will be Justice for the Unborn

The concept of 'justice for the unborn' always makes me think of that sequence in The Handmaids' Tale where Offred is talking about the lynching of doctors. Perhaps it's just First Love couldn't make 'a concerted roll-back of hard-won abortion rights as Santorum suddenly abandons his belief in small government and light-touch regulation to rigourously control what women can and can't do with their own uteruses' scan. 'Uteruses' is a very difficult word to find a rhyme for.

Factories back on our Shores

In other words, Santorum will repeal environmental legislation to a point where the beaches in Maine are covered with manufacturing units.

Where the Constitution rules our land

A fundamental misunderstanding of what a Constitution does, there.

Yes, I Believe... Rick Santorum is our Man!

Personally, I'm struggling to believe that Rick Santorum is a man, rather than a kind of clean-shaven, stop-motion version of that bloke off the Monopoly box.

Second verse time:

GAME ON! He's got the Plan
To Lower Taxes, Raise Morale, To Put the Power in our Hands

Actually, according to Gallup polling, the more likely it looks Obama will remain president, the more confident people seem to be in the future of America's economy. Perhaps you'd choose to measure 'raising morale' in other ways - I guess with all those tax cuts and the required cuts and furloughs in public services that implies, you're picturing a lot of people having nothing to do but go out and enjoy the sunshine, right?

GAME ON! Change is at hand
Faithful to his Wife and Seven Kids - He'll be Loyal to our land

"Because, right, clearly if he's at home impregnating his wife so often, he can't have had time to stray, right? And it follows that if he's not, as far as we can tell from the number of children he has, boffing a stripper in Vegas, we can be sure that as President he won't accept a cash deal from Belarus to go and work for them part time, or something."

Here comes a middle eight:

Oh It's crazy, What's been slipping through our hands
When we the People are still supposed to rule this Land
Rick Understands

So, hang about a moment: the sort-of-democratic process of selecting a candidate to represent the Republicans is showing that the people really aren't keen on Rick. This is an expression of what the people want. But when they say that, they're being crazy, and should be ignored, because if you select Santorum, he'll make sure the people have the power to have their voices heard. (Unless, er, they're saying they don't want Santorum, when they shouldn't be trusted. Because then, the people are being crazy.) Is that clear?

Love Parade: The mayor was still there

Adolf Sauerland, mayor of Duisburg at the time of the Love Parade disaster in 2010, has been recalled in a special vote.

Sauerland has repeatedly refused to take any form of responsibility for the poor planning at the event, at which 21 people were crushed to death. An attempt to unseat him from within the city council failed; instead, it took a poll of the full electorate of the city to get rid of him.

Kelly Clarkson endorses, distances self from Ron Paul

Kelly Clarkson appears to have switched sides, announcing that she loves Ron Paul.

And then, after discovering that it wasn't a popular idea, trying to sort-of-half-endorse him:

"I do not support racism. I support gay rights, straight rights, women's rights, men's rights, white/black/purple/orange rights. I like Ron Paul because he believes in less government and letting the people (all of us) make the decisions and mold our country. That is all. Out of all of the Republican nominees, he's my favorite."

Aw, yes - who cares about the racism and the homophobia when he'll make government smaller?

In other words: Kelly Clarkson is happy to endorse anyone, regardless of how shady their character, providing she pays less tax as a result.

Ten Pirates attempting to take seats

Ten candidates representing The Pirate Party of Canada are standing in their nation's general election.

They've got some lovely policies.

Jean behaves like a statesman

When it first became clear that Wyclef Jean might not qualify to be president of Haiti, his team made some encouraging noises about how what really mattered was the process being followed; that making sure that rules are applied.

That the election doesn't turn into a circus.

It will be in that spirit, then, that Jean has recorded a song having a go at the electoral commission:

The song is called “Prison for the CEP,” referring to the electoral commission, whose decision he wants to overturn in court.

Mr. Jean also chides President Rene Preval as he sings in Creole, the French-derived language spoken by most Haitians.

Yes. That'll stop the whole process descending into a personality-driven sideshow. It's exactly what Andrew Jackson would have done.

Wyclef Jean: He's Haiti's Obama

And we use "Haiti's Obama" in the sense of 'being challenged to prove he actually is a citizen and thus eligible for the Presidency'.

Of course, Obama's "birthers" were half-crazed, half-deluded twits; those suggesting Jean is ineligible have a bit more heft to them:

By late Thursday, lawyers for the Provisional Electoral Council had compiled 20 pages of legal documents -- including passport records -- that they said show Jean is not a Haitian resident.

Jean, as is his style, is waving this all aside with claims that the paperwork is all pretty solid and there's no need to worry that anything might be wrong.

Bringing exactly the same approach he used for his charity paperwork, then. What could go wrong?