The Stones distance themselves from Trump

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
You might just find
You've used something you had no right to in the first place

The Rolling Stones do not endorse Donald Trump. You Can't Always Get What You Want was used without the band's permission.

— The Rolling Stones (@RollingStones) July 22, 2016

Krist Novoselic has made his presidential choice

Krist Novoselic - very much the other one out of Nirvana - has decided he's going to through his weight behind the Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. The Libertarian party, of course, is very much the Kirst Novoselic of US parties.

Novoselic has also defended Citizens United, says Politico:

Novoselic then tweeted a link to a blog post written last Thursday in which he laid out his thoughts on the landmark 2010 Citizens United case and the history of campaign finance law in general.
"The best one can do to serve democracy is to understand and study issues," he wrote in the nearly 3,700-word treatise. "Don’t believe the hype about Citizens United. It was a good ruling that protected the right of people to hear information without the government picking and choosing who could speak."

It's not, but you can see why extremely rich people like to believe that.

Lindsay Lohan throws her hat into overcrowded 2020 ring

Kanye West - the character out of the Kim Cardigan show - has already made noises about perhaps running for president in 2020. I think we're all assuming he's using the phrase "running for president" in the sense that Donald Trump uses it, as in "mugging for the cameras".

Now, a second name drawn from the "I think they used to make records, didn't they?" file has announced her intention to run. Step forward, Lindsay Lohan. No, really, step forward, I struggle to remember which one is you and which one is Hilary Duff.

Lohan is already constructing her platform:

The first thing I would like to do as president of 🇺🇸 is take care of all of the children suffering in the world.🎹💜🌎🌏👊🏻👊🏾👊🏼👊🏽🙏🏻💋🙌 #queenELIZABETH showed me how by having me in her country 🇬🇧

Just as a side note, this is the first emoji-strewn post in over a decade of No Rock and Roll Fun, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm using "proud" in the sense that Jeb Bush uses when he says positive things about Donald Trump, as in "jesus, this is still a thing?"

Anyway, leaving aside the manner of delivery, let's just examine Lohan on her policy platform. It might come as news to residents of the UK that the Queen - or hashtagLiz as she's being officially rebranded - is diligently taking care of all the suffering children.

It may also be something of a surprise to discover that hashtagLiz "had" Lindsay in the country - presumably that VIP fast lane at Heathrow immigration is more elaborately staffed than you've ever imagined as you watch people waft into it. I'm assuming the Queen sits at the desk muttering "oh, yes, Mean Girls. One thought so much of Diana when one watched that one. Do come in".

There is a possibility that we're over-thinking this - perhaps Lohan's plan is that you can stop children suffering just by having the Queen let them into the UK.

Imagine. Nigel. Farage's. Face.

And for that reason, and that reason alone, No Rock And Roll Fun is pleased to endorse Lindsay Lohan for 2020 - the first president whose entire policy is to troll UKIP from the White House. I'm already sending an email pledging to work on ads attacking Kanye West - I'm thinking mostly just rolling the "in the French restaurant/ Hurry up with my damn croissants" line over and over in every ad break from now until 2019. Eating in a French restaurant will play really badly in the midwest, and being rude to waiters will kill support pretty much everywhere else apart from Beverley Hills.

Lohan is as good as on Rushmore.

Wyclef Jean: He's Haiti's Obama

And we use "Haiti's Obama" in the sense of 'being challenged to prove he actually is a citizen and thus eligible for the Presidency'.

Of course, Obama's "birthers" were half-crazed, half-deluded twits; those suggesting Jean is ineligible have a bit more heft to them:

By late Thursday, lawyers for the Provisional Electoral Council had compiled 20 pages of legal documents -- including passport records -- that they said show Jean is not a Haitian resident.

Jean, as is his style, is waving this all aside with claims that the paperwork is all pretty solid and there's no need to worry that anything might be wrong.

Bringing exactly the same approach he used for his charity paperwork, then. What could go wrong?

No help from his friends: Pras won't endorse Wyclef

Well, that's going to make a Fugees reunion even more awkward than it would be normally. If they can get past someone asking Lauryn how the solo career is going, Pras endorsing Wyclef Jean's opponent for Haitian president, Michel "Sweet Micky" Martelly:

The Haitian-born musician says he will not back Jean because he lacks a definitive plan to bring the island nation into the 21st century.

"You've got 1.2 million people living in tent city right now. What are the plans to get these people out," Pras said of the survivors of the Jan. 12 earthquake.

"Also" he continued, "he allowed himself to be mixed up in that cover version of No Woman, No Cry. Who'd take seriously the opinion of someone who did that... oh, hang on..."

John McCain feels used by Jackson Browne

Jackson Browne's complaints against John McCain using his music during the McCain-Whatwashernamegain campaign have finally drawn a formal legal response from John McCain.

McCain claims that Browne was only making a fuss to draw attention to his new album, and then suggests that he can do whatever he wants with whoever's music he chooses as he was running for President. Who knew after all these years of Republicans happy to extend copyright in any way, shape or direction we'd finally find some sort of fair use that a GOP guy would fight for?

Still, if McCain was smart, he'd have actually countersued Browne on other grounds - after all, stealing his music didn't exactly help the McCain campaign, did it? Perhaps it was the association with Fisty Browne that dragged them down... Browne owes McCain one presidency, right?

And they said Obama wasn't going to take victory for granted

Even although he's not president yet - not even president-elect yet - Barack Obama is dropping all his friends from before he was famous. MTV reports that Jay-Z, P Diddy, Ben Affleck, the AFLAC duck, Mary J Blige and - well, you can probably round this list out for yourself - have been asked to stay away from tonight's big Chicago victory bash*.

But then, if you were president, wouldn't your first move be to send an email to Puff Daddy telling him to keep at least a Federally-mandated five hundred feet away at all times?

* - not that it's a victory bash yet, as nobody is taking anything for granted, but they couldn't wait until the New York polls close before they start carving a sixty-foot ice sculpture depicting Obama riding Pegasus as the planets themselves bow down before him, could they? The ice sculptors do say they'll leave off doing the face until six-thirty Eastern time, though, so it could just be Joe The Plumber if the exit data looks gloomy. back

Stone casts votes

If there's one thing the US heartlands love, it's getting lectures on democracy from Europeans. It always goes down well. So what better than Joss Stone to get the vote out?

"America is a large, major power and it affects everywhere, so I can't just sit down and shut up," she said in an interview last week. "Just because I can't vote doesn't mean I can't say what I mean and what I feel. I just hope that people will vote. ... I'm not here to say Barack or McCain, I'm hear to say, 'Have a voice and use it.' It's so important."

Well, she's right that she can't just sit down and shut up; that's for certain. But if it's so very important with America being this large, major power, then shouldn't Stone endorse a candidate? How does saying 'vote for someone, anyone' actually mean Stone is using her voice?

Still, we should find out who she's back soon - there's less than a week to the election and since Gordon Smart insisted that Obama had personally invited her to write a campaign song for him, we must surely be about to hear it, right?

Hank Williams does Palin's bidding

As if the family name hadn't been sullied enough, Hank Williams Junior is trading in what's left of his goodwill in the interests of supporting Sarah Palin and John McCain.

He's rewritten Family Tradition as the McCain-Palin Tradition (a tradition that stretches back to, erm, September, given that they're keen to claim to have nothing to do with previous administrations). But it gets worse than that. Much worse:

The chorus now includes the lines "John and Sarah tell ya just what they think, and they're not gonna blink"

Although Palin is known for a quick wink. And on the rare occasions when Sarah does tell you just what she thinks, she then has to appear on the news with McCain with him complaining that she was tricked into saying what she thinks by a devious person asking her a straight question.

E!'s Answer Bitch gets to grips with McCain question

In what we take to be an email from a Republican, the Answer Bitch is challenged about anti-McCain bands:

If I hear one more band complain about the Republicans using their songs in the presidential campaign, I'll scream. Why don't these singers just shut up and sue?
—Sue

The AB trots through the 'actually, what McCain is doing is wrong but not illegal' argument, but misses the broader point: isn't it, you know, a cornerstone of American democracy that you have the right to make your voice heard; that if someone is implying an endorsement of their creepy policies by using your work it's not whinging to make it loud and clear that, actually, you disendorse them; and that wouldn't the world be a better place if people didn't immediately rush to sue when something happens with which they disagree and - far from whining - the likes of Jovi and Heart are setting an example that their fellow Americans might wish to follow?

Fall Out Boy pull album in case they appear to have an opinion

Fall Out Boy's Folie A Deux album has been dropped from its planned election week slot, because of, erm... well, let's let them explain:

Being from Chicago, we know "next years our year" all too well. 6 months ago we thought it would be a fun idea to release our album on election day but this is not the election to be cute. This is the most important election of our time and, as much as the record is a social commentary and the term "folie a deux" is relevant to the candidates, we felt as though rather than making a commentary we were only riding the wave of the election. This seemed less and less like what we intended to do and more of a gimmick.

While we have all individually expressed our positions on the candidates that we support we feel that many of the interviews and press for the record have skewed us into a partisan band. While it may be obvious where we stand. We never intended to be the band that shoved our ideas down peoples throats. We only hope people look at the bigger picture and investigate the issues further on their own.

It's not the election to be cute, huh? If the election is as serious as the band believe, then surely that makes it more important than ever to stand up and declare yourself, doesn't it? And yet here's the band, insisting that the election be treated so seriously it's not the time for them to release an album, and yet afraid that people might think they have, you know, a political opinion.

It's almost as if one might think that a band so reliant on sponsorship is really afraid some of its sugar daddy brands might not like to pump cash into a group that has declared its hand for one candidate.

Gosh darn it, dontcha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?

Nicole Scherzinger has extended the hand of friendship to the toast of the mob, Sarah Palin. She's even suggested that the Pussycat Dolls might pal around with Palin - why, she could even get a try out for the band:

"She seems like a headstrong woman, a tough chick. And she's hot."

Funnily enough, those were the same qualities that led to the Republicans adopting her as the vice presidential candidate, although obviously the Pussycat Dolls tend to run better background checks before formally adopting a member.

James P - who brought this to our attention - points out this is US politic's very own "Margaret Thatcher was the first Spice Girl" moment. He concludes:

Oh, and she can see TaTu from her house too.

Land of the free, up to a point

The delicately balanced nature of the US media - or, if you believe Fox, the slavish devotion to those dangerously left-wing Democrats on the part of the main networks - seems to have been ruffled a little by the attempts of Randy Randall from No Age to wear an Obama tshirt on Craig Ferguson's late-night talk show. Randy explains:

After the rehearsals, the people from CBS said I couldn't wear the shirt. I threatened to walk off the set and not do the show. They would not budge. They said that it was because they had to give equal time. I told them to put up a Mccain t-shirt, or anything else they wanted, but they wouldn't do anything. Dean and I talked and we came to the conclusion that it was better to do the show and make a statement on national TV than just walk away. So I turned the shirt inside out and wrote free healthcare on it.

Funny thing is, this would have been understandable if it had been Britain - you could, at a stretch, argue that one side's t-shirt without a balance would be a violation of electoral law - but in America, the similar rule, the Fairness Doctrine was abolished about twenty years ago. Otherwise Fox News would implode, wouldn't it?

Still, well done Randy for making such a brave stand of, erm, not walking out the show but telling everyone about it afterwards.

McCain annoys another band

We know the McCain-McCheese ticket is struggling to connect with anyone much beyond the hardcore Republican vote, but surely even they must have some sort of musician amongst them? Only time after time, McCain's people are getting annoyed letters from acts whose music they've used.

Latest to object to being linked to the downward spiral are the Foo Fighters:

“It’s frustrating and infuriating that someone who claims to speak for the American people would repeatedly show such little respect for creativity and intellectual property. The saddest thing about this is that ‘My Hero’ was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential,” the Foo Fighters said in a statement. “To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song. We hope that the McCain campaign will do the right thing and stop using our song — and start asking artists’ permission in general!

Butgoshdarnsucks, Foo Fighters, dontcha think that Sarah Palin and her snowboard hobby writing-off family are just like that common man, huh? Winkity-wink-wink?

Nine point lead, incumbents trashing the economy, Sarah Palin incapable of answering a question with anything other than the word 'maverick' ...

What could possibly go wrong for Obama?

How about Sharon Osbourne instructing America not to vote for Sarah Palin:

It reminds me of, like, a hokey Disney movie... where somebody from nowhere suddenly ends up ruling the world. I don't know her, I've never met her, but come on!

Wow, the Republicans really did do a poor job on vetting Palin, didn't they? Not nly did they not spot her lack of knowledge, the absence of empathy, the charging rape victims for their rape kits, the whole lying thing, the earmarks and the firing of people she didn't like, they missed that Sharon Osbourne hasn't met her. Boy, if ever you were begging to be punished at the polls.

Hey, Sarah: remember he's the King of Ireland, not the President

As Sarah Palin attempts to cover up her apparent lack of knowledge of the outside world by meeting as many leaders as she can in one forty-eight hour period, she's even made time to catch up with Bono:

The Alaska governor will also meet U2 singer and global anti-poverty campaign Bono on the sidelines of the UN meeting, said the ONE campaign, which is associated with the Irish rocker.

The McCain campaign specifically asked to include Palin in Bono's planned talks with the Republican presidential nominee, ONE said in a statement.

And why would Bono refuse to take part in a photo-op to shore up the rapidly unraveling decision to stick a fundamentalist, animal-slaughtering, serial lying, untested, scandal-riven governor on the ticket, huh?

McCain ignores cease-and-desist letters

There's a degree of irony in John McCain - a man who has helped the current administration dance to the whim of the copyright industries - choosing to pointedly ignore a cease-and-desist letter. The Wilson sisters from Heart made it clear they didn't want him using their music:

Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart have informed the McCain/Palin Campaign that Universal Music Publishing and Sony BMG have sent a cease-and-desist notice to not use one of Heart's classic songs, "Barracuda," as the congratulatory theme for Sarah Palin.

The Republican campaign did not ask for permission to use the song, nor would they have been granted that permission.

"We have asked the Republican campaign publicly not to use our music. We hope our wishes will be honored."

So what came parping out of the speakers once McCain had got to the end of his "I'm not my own man" speech?

Yep. Barracuda.

Copyright law is for other people. John McCain is a scofflaw.

Noel on the road: What, no Ocean Colour Scene?

So, more from Noel Gallagher's exciting on-the-road blog. To kill time, Noel and his employees have been playing a game:

In the dressing room the traditional debate has started about “The Top 10”. This means the top 10 bands of all time.

The list, as you'd expect, is topped by the Beatles and suggests that no good work has been done musically since Gallagher passed through puberty:

1. The Beatles
2. The Rolling Stones
3. The Who
4. The Sex Pistols
5. The Kinks
6. The La’s
7. Pink Floyd
8. The Bee Gees
9. The Specials
10. Peter Green’s Fleetwood Mac

By a strange coincidence, this is actually the same list of bands that Gordon Brown has suggested for the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony.

There's no surprise here: if you have ever listened to an Oasis record, you'd already be aware that Noel hasn't apparently forged any emotional attachment to anything much recorded after the miner's strike.

The insight, though, is in the ground rules:

No solo artists allowed. No female artists allowed. No collectives allowed (Public Enemy etc.)

Oh, yes - you just know Public Enemy would be at the number one slot if only the rules allowed it. But no female artists allowed? What is this - a treehouse full of ten year old boys? Are they afraid of getting CD cooties? And shouldn't Rhoda Dakar make The Specials ineligible for inclusion - you know, just in case someone thinks that Noel is listening to GURLS music for GURLS.

We also get Noel's insight into US politics:

Manage to catch that Barrack Obama’s speech to the Democratic rally. Impressive stuff. Spellbinding in fact. Wish he was one of ours. Why do Americans believe they’re electing the president of THE WORLD though?

Ooh... could it be because of America's massive bloody great influence over vast swathes of the planet, do you think Noel? Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to have bothered to suggest what was so impressive - nay, spellbinding - about Obama's speech; nor why he wishes that Britain had the chance to elect a centre-right politician (haven't we got enough of them already?). It's almost as if, you know, just wanted to say something so we'd know he was engaged... in the house... race for the house...
... must go to the White House... must...

Revenge against the Machine

Following on from the Rage Against The Machine march on the Xcel Centre and the RNC, it looks like last night, the police were out for revenge.

The band were playing a proper, legal, ticketed gig at the Target Centre in Minneapolis (for now, let's leave aside the question of how they're playing a gig at a venue which is a marketing tool for a major Republican Party Contributor as that might just make my head pop). As Coldsnaplegal's Twitter feed witnessed, the cops were waiting for revenge:

Concert goers @the rage against the machiene show are taking to the streets. riot cops on every corner, 1 arrest. need legal observers.

Front of target center cleared. 7th & Hennepin blocked by riot cops. Pepper spray deployed.

folks from after show protest are being arrested and ordered on to city busses at 7th and marquette in minneapolis. arrest numbers unknown.

riot cops have left 7th st. and 2nd ave, 31 people confirmed arrested and taken.

On MnIndy's Twitter, there was a suggestion that media attention might have increased the tension:

I'm hearing the omnipresent buzz of overhead helicopters in Minneapolis. Media's hyping violence threat as Rage lets out downtown.

Rage is not yet letting out. The crowd is mostly looky-loos anticipating violence and beating drums

But, clearly, even before the concert started the police were looking for confrontation:

spp just ticketed everyone here for parking facing the wrong direction icluding the guy parked in his own driveway. huh? -robin

Is the McCain - Mayor McCheese ticket really so petrified of Rage Against The Machine they need to send police out to pepper spray young people who actually show an interest in the political process?

[via Boing Boing]

Taking the Rage to the Machine

Yesterday's planned "secret" gig outside the Minnesota State Capitol got closed down by police - whose handling of anything that might seem like dissent outside the Republican National Convention leans towards the 'my god, these people are enemies of the State and must be subdued before they murder my family in the bed and establish some sort of worldwide caliphate, whatever that might be' heavy-handedness.

The band instead embarked on a march towards the Xcel Center. It's not clear if the police who fired tear gas at the more determined members of the group were also sponsored by Xcel.